


Accidents Happen (Bucky x reader)

by avengerofyourheart



Series: Accidents Happen (Bucky x reader) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AC/DC References, Avengers - Freeform, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, F/M, Florence + the Machine References, INXS - Freeform, James Buchanan Barnes - Freeform, Marvel - Freeform, Modern English, Song fic, The Scorpions, bonnie raitt, mild sexy times, mild violence, pregnancy mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-01-06 03:33:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18380114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengerofyourheart/pseuds/avengerofyourheart
Summary: Summary:  Reader is accident prone, comes from a sheltered background, and has been with the Avengers almost a year when Steve finds Bucky and brings him to the Avengers Tower (post CATWS, pre CACW). Bucky takes an interest in the reader’s quirkiness. (mostly fluff)Warnings: none? Mostly Fluff with a little heat at the end. :)





	1. Accidents Happen

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, lovelies!! Funny story, this is actually the first fan fiction story I ever wrote and posted on tumblr 3 years ago. And only last week did I realize I never posted it here! ha. So here it is! My style of writing has evolved since then and hopefully improved as well, so just a heads up. heh. I'll be editing a bit as I go along. I'd love to know your thoughts and thanks for reading! :)

“Nice try, Hawk, but you’re about to eat mat, mother trucker!”

You had no verbal filter. Everyone on the team knew that. After almost a year of training together, they were used to your bizarre outbursts and ridiculous exclamations. However, you grew up in a very uptight household and despite distancing yourself from those beliefs years ago, old habits held strong. Such as your inability to curse like a normal person. Any response to excitement, pain, surprise, or fear resulted in a random phrase that usually began with the first syllable of the intended word.

“Kick his asteroid, Nat!”

The redhead rolled her eyes, but kept focus and had Clint on the mat in seconds.

You pumped your fists in the air with a triumphant yell, then approaching the mat in anticipation of your own sparring match. All training focus had dissolved, however, as the gym doors opened revealing Steve and a dark-haired stranger. Curiosity peaked as you joined the welcome crowd approaching the newcomer.  Shoulder-length hair covered his down-turned face, but the glint of a silver hand not covered by his left jacket sleeve explained all.

“It’s Bucky!” you whispered too loudly.

A pair of stunning blue eyes met yours, making you shrink back a little. Oops. Nat hooked an arm in yours and gave you an affectionate smile. Despite your oddities, Natasha loved you like a sister.

Steve dropped his shield and helmet on the floor before presenting his childhood friend to the group.

“Everyone, this is Bucky. He’ll be staying here for a while. It’ll take some time for him to acclimate, so give him some room. We’ve got plenty of time for introductions later.”

Steve led his friend through a side door towards the living quarters and disappeared.  

“Huh. He could use a haircut. And a shave,” you said, dodging an elbow to the ribs from Nat.

————-

Over the next few days, Steve made sure Bucky met everyone on the team but only 1 or 2 people at a time. One morning you were bundled up on the couch with a bowl of cereal watching cartoons when you heard voices in the hallway approaching. Ever the snoop, you set down your breakfast, untangled yourself from the blankets and stood.

“…… that every day will get better, Buck. You have to give it time.”

“I don’t know, Steve. I don’t like the stares and whispers. Maybe I shouldn’t be here…”

“What, and go on the run again? No chance. You’re lucky I found you first, pal. Look, let’s get some breakfast and…”

Steve stopped short at seeing you standing in the living room.

“I was here first, so technically I wasn’t eavesdropping,” you blurted.

The muscular blonde raised an eyebrow in your direction, but still led his friend towards you.

“Y/N, this is Bucky. Bucky, meet Y/N.”

You stuck your hand out and received a firm shake and a tight smile from Bucky.

“Obviously I’m incapable of whispering, so you don’t have to worry about that. As for staring, I make no promises,” you stated with a smile.

A look of surprise graced the handsome brunette’s face, followed by a sideways glance to Steve.

“She’s fine. Her mouth just runs ahead of her brain sometimes. Or all the time,” Steve said with a smile.

You scowled at the accusation.

“Go to Helsinki, Rogers,” you grinned.

An unexpected snort escaped from Bucky, surprising himself as well as you.

Grabbing your now-soggy cereal, you retreated to your room.

——————-

The next few weeks everyone fell back into the routine of training, missions, and bouts of boredom remedied with games, movies and the occasion night on the town.  Bucky still lingered on the edge of the group, content to read a book or watch a movie without comment. The familial chaos of the team probably still seemed overwhelming but you involved him as much as he was comfortable with.

Your ever-growing list of pseudo swear words grew with the addition of Sam’s new favorite which had popped out after burning your hand through a defective oven mitt at dinner.

“Sugar plum fairies!” you let slip, grimacing in pain.

Steve made no comment, but grabbed a few ice cubes from the freezer for your hand.

“Y/N, where did you even come from, girl?” Sam chuckled.

“Stuff it, bird boy. The Nutcracker is a classic,” you hissed, running cold water over the reddened skin of your palm as Steve put the ice in a towel for you.

“I’ll take the garlic bread to the table, Y/N. Everything looks great.”

“Thanks Steve.”

It was your night to cook and a big pot of pasta with homemade marinara sat on the communal table waiting to be devoured. Italian was your favorite.

“Go ahead. Eat without me, you ingrates,” you gestured while holding the ice. The feeding frenzy began.

Bucky held back, as he usually did, but you noticed a slight look of fascination (and possibly concern?) directed toward you. He looked away quickly and your focus returned to the pain in your hand.

——————

Two weeks later, it was the middle of the night and you couldn’t sleep. Following a week long mission with Steve, Nat, and Clint, involving recon and infiltration of a suspected HYDRA base, your mind and body still buzzed after getting back a few hours ago. Normally you slept like the dead, so you threw off the bedsheets in annoyance and slipped on your tennis shoes.

The tower was completely dark but you knew it like the back of your hand, running your fingers along the wall leading to the stairs. You jogged down the two flights towards the gym hoping to burn off some of this nervous energy, but stopped short at seeing the lights on and a single figure on the far side of the room facing you.

Bucky sat on the weight bench with his eyes closed, headphones in his ears. His right arm kept rhythm with a 50 lb dumbbell clutched in his hand. Wearing sweats and only a tank top, instead of his usual long-sleeved attire, you could see the intricate parts of his metal arm and the big red star on his artificial shoulder.

You carefully crept across the gym floor toward one of the smaller training rooms, hoping not to disturb the man. Your eyes couldn’t help but wander to the slight glisten on his skin and the way the shirt’s material clung to his well-developed muscles. His hair was pulled into a small bun at the nape of his neck. You’ve never seen his entire face before. Actually the stubble didn’t look half bad. Scratch the shave. And the haircut. The man bun works for him.

You stared a moment too long as you crept between two exercise machines without paying attention because suddenly you kicked a solid, inanimate object with full force.

“GAH!! FRAGGLE ROCK!”

You screamed, clutching your foot, then immediately jumped at the sound of a booming, loud laugh followed by the clang of a dumbbell bouncing on the rubber gym floor.

You spun quickly to see the Winter Soldier with his head thrown back in a full belly laugh, clutching his side with his now unburdened right hand. He lowered his gaze to your bewildered face, still grinning. You weren’t even sure you had even seen his teeth before. His smile was mesmerizing, dulling the ache in your toes.

“What did you just say?” He inquired, removing his earbuds.

“Um. I, uh…. was trying to sneak off into the other room without you noticing but I failed. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I promise. Come here.”

You froze for a minute, unsure of where this was going. “I can just go, you seemed to be in the zone or whatever so…”

“(Y/N). Come here,” he beckoned calmly.

You slowly hobbled the 20 feet toward the man.

“Let me see your foot.”

“You know, in the history books it was never mentioned that you were a medic so I think I’ll just go to…”

“Sit,” he said with a little more force. “I’ve assessed plenty of my own injuries. I just want to make sure you didn’t break anything. Wouldn’t be surprised with your luck.”

Bucky vacated his spot on the bench and you gave in and sat. He knelt down, lifted your left foot and carefully removed your shoe and sock.

“What are you doing in here this late anyway?” you almost demanded.

“I should ask you the same thing,” he replied as he examined the top of your foot, softly pressing on certain areas.

“Couldn’t sleep. Too hyped after the mission. Now you go.”

He glanced up briefly, then moved onto your toes for examination.

“I don’t sleep well these days. Most nights I end up here just passing the time.”

“Nightmares?”

His silence served as confirmation.

“I had a dream one time where my family turned into dogs and they tried to eat my hands. What do you think that means?”

He barked a laugh. “Y/N, you are the strangest girl I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t doubt that.” You owned your peculiarity after all this time. “What were you listening to?”

“Clint called it a pod…cast or something? Mostly just people talking but it’s interesting.”

“Ugh. The talking talking talking show. There’s better stuff than that. I could recommend a few things.”

“Sure. Does this hurt?” he asked as he pressed on the ball of your foot.

“No. Actually that tickles a little, stop that.”

Bucky grinned at that. “Okay, it doesn’t seem to be broken, so you could probably head up to bed or…”

“Nah. Now I’m buzzing with post-injury adrenaline. Can barely feel it anymore. I think I’ll stay here.”

You stood up, flexing and pointing your foot to test it, and slipped your sock and shoe back on. He nodded, picking up his dumbbell again and sat down. Heading toward the area covered in wrestling mats, you started stretching.

As usual without thinking, you asked, “Do you lift with your right so much because if you didn’t it wouldn’t match your metal arm? Cause that would be weird.”

Another belly laugh, this time only pausing with the weight in his hand. The night passed as you both talked in between sets of weights for him and body weight exercises for you. You did finally explain what Fraggle Rock was, the epitome of 80s Muppet television, promising to show it to him sometime. It wasn’t bad for a painful night at the gym.

—————

The days following were business as usual, but you noticed that Bucky started to gravitate toward you in group situations. He took a seat next to you at dinner if it was available or he left an open space on the couch while you popped the popcorn on movie night. He didn’t really engage in conversation easily, but opened up when asked a question directly.

You lent him your portable CD player along with some music you thought he might like.

“Digital is great, but I’m old school. I like something I can hold in my hand. And the lyrics in the sleeve! Can’t beat that.”

Bucky nodded in agreement, although slightly confused until you opened the plastic CD case to show him. He would lean in at dinner with a comment on one of the bands you recommended, sometimes starting a playful argument if he disagreed.

Steve noticed the change in Bucky and pulled you aside one day.

“I just wanted to thank you for helping Buck feel more at home.”

“Hey, all I did was ruin his gym alone time and shove some CDs in his hand.”

Steve just smiled and put a hand on your arm. “Thanks, Y/N.”

A few nights a week, you found yourself wandering down to the gym for a workout. After that first midnight encounter, you came downstairs and saw the legs of all the exercise equipment covered in bubble wrap.

“Very funny, wise guy,” you said before climbing onto the stairmaster.

His toothy smile lit up the whole room.

Each night after an hour or so, sometimes you left Bucky to his right arm lifting, but more often lately he would follow you up the stairs and walk to your bedroom door, lingering a few minutes before saying goodnight.

Nat insisted that “Winter Smolder” had the hots for you, pumping you for information when he was out of earshot.

“Shiitake mushrooms, Nat! There’s nothing going on, I swear. Besides, I usually end up doing most of the talking so I don’t know what you expect me to share about the guy. He does have very straight teeth, though. In case you were wondering,” you teased, leaving a fuming Nat behind.

You were gone on a 6 day mission the next month and came back late one night, collapsing on your bed after stripping off your gear. Your body needed rest, but sleep seemed distant so you pulled up Netflix and searched for a movie. While still deciding, you heard a quiet knock on your door, which was puzzling as it was 2am.

“Come in!”

You were surprised to see Bucky stick his head in. He wore his usual gym attire of sweats and a tank top. Man bun in place.

“Hey, Y/N. Uh, I heard you were back and thought you might be heading downstairs tonight.”

“Nope. Sorry, I pulled a fracking calf muscle like an idiot and have to rest it.” You indicated to the ice pack your calf was resting on, with a pillow to elevate it.

He seemed a little disappointed, “Oh. Well, I’ll leave you to it then.” he said as he turned to go.

“Wait! I can’t decide what to watch and I think Fraggle Rock might be on here. You wanna join me? That is if your right arm can handle one night off.”

Bucky laughed while shutting the door and stepped forward but he looked a little uncomfortable in your bedroom, trying not to let his eyes linger on anything too personal for too long.  

You patted the space on the bed next to you, “Shoes off, Barnes. Just let me shift over a little.”

He helped you by lifting the entire pillow with your leg on top, leaving half the bed for him. He sat gingerly, careful to leave space between us and crossed his arms over his chest. You left your laptop resting on your stomach but tilted the screen so you both could see. The first episode began and you started to sing along with the opening song.

Bucky smiled as he watched you mimic the voices of the Muppets. As the episode continued he slouched down a bit to get more comfortable. Since your leg occupied the second pillow, you slid yours over the share. When you turned your head to answer some question or make a silly comment, you were suddenly consciously aware of the few inches between you. You were also grateful that although you had undressed in a hurry after the mission, you kept on your most supportive and least see-through undershirt and that a blanket covered your lower half, where you wore not much at all.

Part way through the second episode, you noticed Bucky’s breathing had deepened. A turn of your head confirmed that he was asleep. You shut off your computer and reached to turn off your bedside lamp. The movement slightly jostled Bucky.

“Y/N?” he asked, reaching with his flesh hand toward you.

“I’m here.” You answered, threading your fingers with his. You both drifted off to sleep.

——————

A cold weight on your stomach was the first thing that your mind registered as you slowly awoke. You opened your eyes and turning to the left to find him lying on his side and wide awake as if he had been watching you, his left metal arm draped across you.

“Hi.”

“G’morning,” he grinned.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Best night’s sleep I’ve had in years.”

“Yeah well, that Fraggle Rock will tire a guy out, what with all the singing and dancing.”

A chuckle escaped his lips. “No offense, but that show is terrible.”

“Hey!” you said with a slug to his very hard stomach, which kind of hurt. “It’s a classic.”

His face became serious then, arm tightening around you.

“I always sleep better after being with you. The past week has been awful while you were gone.”

You shifted from you back to your side, facing him.

“I put everyone to sleep. I’m exceptionally dull, what with my Muppets and inane questions.”

“Trust me, Y/N, you are anything but boring. You make me laugh. Good distraction. Helps to fight back the darkness.”

A silence fell between you, so you asked point-blank, “You like me, right?”

He cracked up, shaking the entire bed with his laughter and a very clear nod of his head.

“And not like a friend thing? Cause I don’t usually lay like this with Nat, as much I love her.”

He grinned, intensity in his bright blue eyes. “Not a friend thing.”

“That’s good cause it would have made this real awkward…”

You pressed your lips to his. He froze a fraction of a second, then responded by pulling you tight against his chest, deepening the kiss. Your fingers reached up and tangled in his thick dark hair, now free from the hair tie that held it. He moaned against your mouth, your lips parting.

Suddenly you pulled back, covering your mouth. Bucky’s eyes fluttered open, brow furrowed in confusion and worry.

“What the…What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“Um. I didn’t brush my teeth last night and now they’re all gross and fuzzy. Bad breath too, I imagine.”

“Doll, I don’t care about that…” he protested, reaching for you again.

“Stop!” you said, placing a hand on his chest. You hopped off the bed, carefully covering your lower half with the blanket.

“Stay.”

He widened his eyes, hands up in surrender. You shuffled around the bed toward the bathroom, closing the door behind you. A quick brush of the teeth and mouthwash, followed by slipping on a pair of pajama pants you had left in there. You exited to see that Bucky hadn’t moved an inch. Good man.

You walked back around to your side, still limping slightly from the stupid calf muscle, his hungry eyes following you. Crawling back on the bed, you lifted his unsurprisingly heavy left metal arm and positioned yourself just as you had been, wiggling into his chest.

“Okay. As you were, soldier.”

He responded immediately, lips meeting again and again. You finally exhaled minty freshness into his mouth, giving permission for his tongue to explore fully. You clung to the thin material covering his back, knotting it in your hands and pulling him as close as humanly possible. Your right leg rose, hooking itself on his hip as he rolled partially on top of you. Your hands lifted the hem of his shirt, feeling the warmth of his bare skin.

In one swift movement, Bucky rolled on his back and lifted you by your hips, coming into a seated position with you straddling him. His tank top you pulled over his head, revealing the perfection his hours of gym time had accomplished. You paused a moment, both of your breathing erratic and heart rates racing. You took the time to run your fingers lovingly over his chiseled face, keeping your eyes on his.

Breathlessly, you whispered, “Hoover Dam. You’re not bad to look at, Barnes.”

He grinned and slowly brushed his hands up your sides, lifting your top in the process and removing it. He left a trail of light kisses from your jawline to your collarbone and then leaned back to take in all of you.

“Same to you, Y/N,” he said, attacking with a low growl.

You giggled like an idiot as articles of clothing fell to the floor.


	2. Melt with You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Reader and Bucky become more emotionally intimate after getting physical ;) . They talk about the past and the possibility of a future.
> 
> Warnings: Sexy fluff I guess? 
> 
> Song Inspiration: "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC, "Melt with You" by Modern English

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying this series! It's been wild to read through these chapters and edit a bit. As I mentioned, this series was fully posted on tumblr years ago and I thought I'd share it here. I'd love to know your thoughts! <3

You breathed a happy sigh, tired and invigorated at the same time.

Lying on your stomach in bed, Bucky beside you drawing circles with his fingers on your bare back, there was nowhere else in the world you’d rather be. It was late morning by now, the past few hours spent making love, laughing, talking, and just enjoying each other’s company in your happy little cocoon.

You told stories about growing up in a big family and how uneventful and stifling your tiny rural town was. He spoke some about his time in the army and what Steve was like growing up, “the little punk from Brooklyn”, he called him affectionately. He mentioned his mom and little sister, but you could tell he was having a difficult time so you changed the subject as smoothly as you always did.

“Was that your first time since the 40s?” Now that’ll highjack a conversation.

He chuckled, followed by a sigh. “Well. Mind controlled assassins don’t generally get time off for dates and then being on the run makes it difficult to meet people, so….yeah.”

“Hmm. Well, then I’d say you have excellent muscle memory cause you’ve got some serious moves, there, Sergeant.”

Bucky jutted his chin out with a cocky smile, “Why thank you, ma’am.” A small glimpse of what you imagine James Barnes might have been like back then.

You considered bursting his bubble with a smart remark, but you let him have his moment.

“So what about you?”

“What about me?”

“When was your last….relationship?”

That was fair, you supposed. You did breech the subject after all. There was a boyfriend in college and a few wild sporadic nights over the past few years, but nothing special.

“Oddly enough, some find my pleasant and demure personality a little abrasive. Crazy, right?”

He reached out to caress your cheek, “I like how open and honest you are. Don’t you dare change for anyone.”

You gave a grateful smile.

“Besides. That wasn’t all me this morning. It takes two to tango. Or so I’m told. We didn’t tango much in the 40s.”

You laughed. “Oh yeah? What did you dance to when you took the lucky ladies out on the town?”

“Oh, you know. There was the Jive, Lindy Hop, swing, the Jitterbug. And the slow dances to Billie Holliday and Bing Crosby. I would’ve danced with you in my arms until the sun came up.”

“I would have loved that.”

“Me too,” he said with a sad smile, then perked up. “But there is a song I was thinking about that reminds me of you.”

“Oh, yeah? Something old and sappy?”

He grinned, “Something like that.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t leave me hanging,” you begged.

Bucky leaned back on the pillows with closed eyes, he cleared his throat and began to sing in a low, husky voice:

 _"She was a fast machine,_  
she kept her motor clean  
she was the best damn woman that I’d ever seen."

Your jaw dropped as he opened his eyes for your reaction.

_"She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies,  
knocking me out with those American thighs."_

Sitting up in bed, you laughed out loud and then joined in a ridiculous duet.

 _"Making more than her share_  
had me fighting for air.  
She told me to come but I was already there.  
Cause the walls start shaking, the earth was quaking  
My mind was aching and we were making it  
And you shook me all night long"

Bucky leaned forward for a kiss, then finishing the chorus:

_"And you shook me all night long."_

You gave him a playful shove, ending the song with his laughter before both of you collapsed onto the pillows.

“I cannot believe that you think AC/DC is sappy.” You said sarcastically. “Old, maybe….how do you even know that song?”

“Stark is a fan apparently. I was in his lab to have my arm looked at a while back and that was playing. He loaded some songs on my phone, insisting that I listen to it. He’s almost as pushy about music as you.”

“Har har. I can appreciate some classic rock. Obviously. And I suppose I can take that as a compliment about my performance this morning. So, you’re welcome. And I bet with a few more months of training with Nat, I could definitely knock you out with these American thighs.”

“I have no doubts about the abilities of your thighs.” He said hungrily, pulling your leg up onto his waist.

You brought your mouth to his, nibbling on his bottom lip as you brought his body closer to you.

“Wait wait wait,” he said as he pulled back, leaving your mouth in a pout. “If we’re going again, I’ll need some water first.”

You collapsed back onto the pillows as Bucky disentangled himself from you and the sheets.

“Gotta replenish, doll.” he said as he walked toward the bathroom with not a stitch of clothing on. He put a little swagger in his naked step, knowing you were watching. You giggled, finding it hard to believe that you were looking at the same man, remembering the lonely, anti-social Bucky Barnes that Steve had brought home a few months before.

As Bucky filled a glass for water, you let the bedsheets fall to your waist, giving him a show as well. He gulped the water too fast, nearly spilling all over which just made you laugh harder.

At that moment you heard a knock at your bedroom door. You both froze, listening hard.

“Y/N? It’s me, Steve. Can I talk to you? “

Your eyes widened toward each other. Putting a finger to your lips you climbed off the bed.

“Just a second!” You yelled, searching the room quickly for some sort of combination of clothing but failed, finally settling on your bathrobe. You wrapped a towel around your head to complete the “look” but in the process, stepped on a pair of your heels. “Ow! Fudgesicle, that HURT.” you said, limping the rest of the way.

Opening the door, you saw Steve standing there, who blushed and averted his eyes at the sight of you in a robe. Typical.

“Hey, what’s up, Cap?”

“I, um…are you okay? I didn’t see you at breakfast. How’s the leg?”

“What? Oh, the sore calf! Yeah. It’s feeling better. Almost forgot about it. I was just was having a lazy morning in bed. You know.”

“Right. Um. Have you seen Bucky? He wasn’t in his room.”

“And the next logical place to look is my bedroom? I like the way you think, Rogers. Yup. I definitely have your buddy stashed in my closet. Silly me! Or was it the bathroom? I forget.”

Steve’s eyes widened in shock, blushing, “What? No, I didn’t mean…I just meant maybe you had seen him more recently…that you and he sometimes workout together and…”

You weren’t letting him off the hook that easy.

“Never mind, uh…I’m sure he’s just needing some time alone,” Steve said, coming to his own conclusions. “Sorry to interrupt. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Sure. Hope you find him,“ you said, closing the door and listening to Steve’s retreating footsteps.

Bucky emerged from the bathroom in disbelief. “Whew. You have got a mouth on you, darling. I can’t believe that worked.”

You shrugged, pulling the towel from your head, “Classic deflection. Put the truth right in front of their face and they won’t believe it. Plus I can talk with anyone until it makes them uncomfortable enough for them to leave. It’s kind of my super power.”

Bucky walked forward with an adoring smile to put his arms around your waist. You had to go up on your toes to kiss him, which was new. Apparently you hadn’t tried the whole kissing-while-not-horizontal thing until now. Huh.

He looked down at you with a puzzled expression, “There’s something wrong with this picture. Can’t quite put my finger on it…” he said as he hooked a finger on the belt of your robe and pulled it free.

“Ah. That’s better.”  He grinned as he put his hands on your bare hips and lifted you, your legs wrapping about his waist.

He lowered you onto the bed, all interruptions forgotten.

————————————

An hour or so later, you were curled into his side, flesh arm around your shoulders, with your head on his chest. Another sigh escaped your lips.

“I hate to say it, doll, but I doubt Steve has given up on finding me.”

“Agreed. He’s more Mother Hen than muscle man when it comes to you.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Bucky said with a sigh. He pulled you closer with a kiss to the top of your head.

“What happens now?” you asked, turning your face towards him to gauge his reaction. You felt a tightness in your chest at the thought of saying goodbye. “I mean, was this a one time thing or…”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” he said confidently, bringing a smile to your face.

“So how do we do this? I can be evasive and make Cap uncomfortable for a while, but if you all of the suddenly start smiling in public, it’s gonna freak the team out.”

He chuckled. “You’re probably right. I guess I haven’t opened up much to anyone but you. And Steve a little. Maybe I could put in more effort, show some visible progress so no one has a heart attack when they see how happy you make me.”

You smiled at that, “I’m pretty happy around you, too, Mr. Barnes.”

He played with your hand with his metal fingers, bringing it to his lips to nuzzle your palm.

“Keep it quiet then? For a little while? Gotta admit, sneaking around and hiding your naked assets in my bathroom is kinda hot.”

“Oh yeah?“ he tickled your sides, leading to an unexpected squeal of laughter from you.

Another kiss and he started to pull away to get up, but you held him tighter.

“Noooooo! Another 5 minutes! Besides, I have a song that reminds me of you, too, soldier.”

He relaxed against you, “Oh really? Sappy and old?” he said laughing.

“A little of both. Depending on your definition of “old” is, of course. Ready?”

He nodded. You sat up and gave him a grin, clearing your throat before you began to sing quietly:

 _"Moving forward using all my breath  
Making love to you was never second best  
I saw the world thrashing all around your face  
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace"_  
  
You caressed his cheek lovingly and continued on.  
  
 _"I’ll stop the world and melt with you._  
You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time  
There’s nothing you and I won’t do  
I’ll stop the world and melt with you…"

The expression of happiness and adoration on his face took your breath away. You wanted to see that look for the rest of your life.

Bucky brushed your hair away from your face with a softness in his eyes.

“Y/N, I would stop the world and melt with you forever.”

He gently pulled you down to him for a long kiss, taking advantage of those last few minutes before the world had to start again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *swoon* A full 24 hours shacked up with Bucky sounds like absolute heaven! :) And although they're just song lyrics, I do recognize that not everyone has "American thighs", so sorry about that. haha. Any feedback is appreciated! Love you all!


	3. Evasive Maneuvers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: reader, Bucky, Steve, Natasha, most of the Avengers mentioned.
> 
> Summary: Reader and Bucky trying to interact in public and hide their secret in front of the rest of the team.
> 
> Warnings: none. Just more sexy fluff. ;)

Bucky had left an hour ago, despite much protesting from both of you and much more kissing in between him finding his clothing, dressing, and walking to the door.

“Okay, I’m going.”

_Kiss._

“Really. Walking to the door. “

You follow. _Kiss._

“I’m turning the door knob.” _Kiss._ And butt squeeze. From you.

“Hey, now!” he yelped. “I’ve got to open this door and slip out unnoticed and your hands attached to me may be found noticeable.”

You relented, one last kiss, and took a step back. He opened the door, peaked out to make sure the hallway was empty, and took another look at you with a smile.

“I’ll see you soon, Y/N.” And he was gone.

Now, sitting on your bed towel-drying your hair after a long hot shower, you let the events of this morning replay in your head. A slow grin grew on your face, then burying it in the bedsheets that still smelled like him. You lingered there a moment relishing the memories, but then shot back up to get ready. You promised an appearance at lunch and you were officially starving now, having been thoroughly distracted from hunger the entire morning.

You slipped on a pair of leggings and a long sweater, deciding to let your hair just air dry. Exiting the room, you walked toward the kitchen with a slight limp. That fracking calf muscle was improved but not healed completely. As you approached the large communal living area, you saw almost everyone had gathered.

Clint and Nat were re-enacting a fight from the last mission for Sam’s benefit in the living room area. Tony was fiddling with something on the dining room table while Pepper tried to convince him to eat something. He was on a roll apparently and when that happened Tony rarely slept or ate. It was a big step that he had removed himself from the lab at all.

Walking the length of those two areas, you neared the kitchen where sitting at the island on bar stools were Steve and Bucky in deep conversation as they ate. Grabbing an apple off the counter and a box of cereal, you headed for the fridge. Steve saw you approaching and broke off the conversation, then Bucky’s eye caught yours. He let out a little smile before looking away, face neutral.

“Oh, good! You found him, Steve.” You said with a smile.

“Actually, he found me after his workout.”

“Yeah? How was it, Bucky?” you asked as you poured milk on your cereal.

He finally dared to look at you again. “Good. I was on one of the lesser-used floors for a…full-body workout. Just body weight stuff. Repetitions. You know.” You could see the flame still there in his eyes.

“Sounds fun,” you said with a conspiratorial smile. “You’ll have to show me sometime. After my leg heals, that is.”

“What happened to your leg?” he asked, as if he didn’t know.

“Pulled calf muscle. Dumb move on the last mission. I spent the morning in bed, though. Resting and icing, a little stretching. So it’s better. In fact, I might try a light workout tonight.  You up for some company?”

Bucky smiled. “Sure.”

“Great,” you said, still trying to play it cool. This role playing was kinda fun, actually.

You grabbed your cereal, threw a smile to Steve and walked toward the living room. You could overhear Steve trying to restart the conversation with Bucky, but he waved him away. Something was going on there.

Nat had just finished her story as you sat in one of the comfy chairs near the wall facing the entire open space.

“Hey, Y/N. Sleep in much?”

“Good one, Nat. Not all of us can survive on 4 hours. Some people require a little more beauty sleep,” you said, sticking out your tongue and taking a bite of cereal.

“Well, you missed the debriefing downstairs. Oh, and that IT guy was looking for you.”

“What IT guy?” you asked with a full mouth, confused.

“The one with the goatee and the earring you like to flirt with.”

You froze for a moment, realizing that Nat was talking pretty loudly. Out of the corner of your eye, you thought you could see Bucky’s head turn slightly.

“Whoa, wait a minute. That’s was, like, months ago! And anyway, I was flirting as a joke.”

“Whatever, Y/N. You know you like him. He asked me for your number.”

“Nat! Did you give it to him?”

“Pff. No. I’ve got your back even if you’re lying to me. But I said I’d pass his number along,” she said, pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket.

“Let me see,” you said, reaching. Bucky’s back muscles tensed at that. You took the paper from Nat and instantly crumpled it up in your hands and threw it, watching it sail straight across the room and into the garbage can in the kitchen right next to where Steve and Bucky were sitting.

“YES!! Perfect shot,” you celebrated, pumping your fists while Nat shook her head at you. "What? The guy was a putz! If it takes months to even ask for my number then he’s got no chance. Besides, if I was interested, I would have gone after him.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup. I’d make any excuses to see him, spend more time with him and given the opportunity, make my move. Smack one right on the lips.”

Bucky was shaking from trying not to laugh, a chuckle escaped that he tried to hide with a coughing fit. A concerned Steve gave him a thump on the back to dislodge whatever he had supposedly choked on.  

“Well, that’s something I’d have to see for myself,” Nat demanded.

“Eh. Maybe later. If I found someone I WAS actually interested in.”

You drank the last of your cereal milk and walked over to put your bowl in the sink. Bucky was still “recovering” from his cough attack.

“You okay, Buck?”  you asked with humor in your voice.

He took a drink of water and cleared his throat, “Yeah. I’m good.”

“Good. I’ll see you later.”

He responded with a nod before you walked off toward your room, taking a bite of your apple.

———————————————————————

The afternoon passed slowly as you attempted to distract yourself with ridiculous tv shows and books that couldn’t hold your attention. It was pathetic, really. Less than 24 hours and now you had complete tunnel vision when it came to him. Normally you would go for a run to get rid of this pent up tension, but the leg did not allow it yet.

Dinner time rolled around and it was another delicate case of evasive maneuvers. Bucky still sat next to you at dinner as he had the last few weeks, along with light conversation. You both could feel the electricity flowing between you, though, hoping that no one else could tell. Bucky grasped your thigh briefly under the table, making you drop your fork. You shot him an angry look with no real heat to it and all he did was smile down at his plate. The jerk.

It was movie night so Nat forced everyone into the living room after dinner. She pushed for a romantic comedy, much to the guys’ chagrin. You were normally right there with her pushing back, but your focus was elsewhere. The movie started and you tried to follow the story, but halfway through you saw Bucky leave the room out of the corner of your eye. You stayed put, staring at the screen for another half hour before you dared to leave, begging exhaustion.

Another hour spent in your room, watching the clock. Around the time you normally met Bucky in the gym, you left your room just like any other night and jogged down the two flights of stairs. The first thing you noticed was music blasting, which was new. Bucky sat on the weight bench with his typical 50 lbs in his right hand, pumping to the bass beat of “Back in Black”, which made you laugh.

“More AC/DC, huh?” you sort of yelled over the music.

He had been in the zone, but the moment he saw your face he couldn’t hold back the smile. You kept your distance for now and headed for the open area of the gym without equipment. You did your best to focus on stretching your calf and doing yoga exercises, breathing through each movement. Bucky’s eyes were on you, though, which was definitely distracting. Moving from warrior pose to downward dog, you heard him get up and walk over to the weight rack, replacing the dumbbell he had been using.

“You know,” he said, “I’d been waiting for 70 years so you’d think I would have built up more patience…”

He was walking swiftly toward you with desire in his eyes, you stood up out of your pose just as he reached you.

“But if I don’t touch you, I’m gonna die,” he said, lifting you off your feet, lips meeting furiously.

You wrapped your legs around him as he carried you toward the locker room.

“Uh uh,” you said against his lips. “That room,” you declared, pointing to the corner small training room.

He turned the knob, still attached to your lips, and saw the wresting mats piled against the far wall as he shut the door.

“Smart girl,” he grinned, dropping you lightly on the mats as you both stripped down to nothing.

“It’s a good thing the music is playing, Sarge,” you said. “Cause it’s about to get loud in here.”

He buried his face in your neck, chuckling at your declaration, but he was ready for you and happy to oblige.

——————————————————————————————

“Son of a biscuit. How did I live without you for so long?” you whispered, against his lips before he rolled back onto the mat.

“You tell me, doll. I’ve been asking myself the same question about you.”

Sweaty and satisfied, you both grinned as your breathing returned to normal. You positioned yourself on his chest with his flesh arm around you, legs intertwined.

“So,” he said, “Earring guy, huh?”

You raised up on your elbow, “I knew you were listening! And don’t you start, Nat ribbed me enough about it.”

“Let’s see: facial hair, earring, long hair, prosthetic limb. Y/N, I think you have a particular ‘type’. And it might be ‘pirate’.”

Your jaw dropped, no smart remark on the tip of your tongue out of sheer shock. You were officially speechless. He let out a heavy, loud laugh at your reaction.

Bucky fake-gasped, saying, “You don’t have a thing for Fury, do you?”

Now THAT got a reaction out of you, including a hard elbow to his ribs as he cackled at his ridiculous joke.

“I can’t even….! What the?!? I’m officially not speaking to you,” you said, crossing your arms over your still-bare chest and falling back to the mat.

He smiled and gently uncrossed your arms, placing them around his neck as he rolled toward you.

“I’m sorry, doll. It was a joke. Besides, we don’t have to talk,” he said kissing your lips and neck until you forgave him and relented, ready for round two.

______________

_Chapter Four: Never Tear Us Apart_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there’s part 3! I loved writing the sneaking around and sideways glances as the reader and Bucky interact. Plus pirates! And Bucky sarcasm! haha. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts!!


	4. Never Tear Us Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: reader x Bucky, Steve, Tony, other Avengers mentioned
> 
> Summary: Progression of the relationship between reader and Bucky as they make plans, which get rudely interrupted. 
> 
> Warnings: fluffy fluff plus a little angst
> 
> Song Inspiration: "Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS, "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is along one! It might be my favorite, though. I really wanted to portray the passage of time and how “real life” intervenes in a relationship. Plus the music! I had to add that kitchen scene. :D

Sunlight fell across your face through a slit in the curtains. Turning away from the brightness, you opened your eyes and gazed into the still-sleeping face of Bucky Barnes. It must’ve been a restful night, his face relaxed with his lips slightly parted. Most nights were good but every once in a while he would wake with a furrowed brow and clamped mouth. You knew he still struggled with nightmares, but he didn’t like to talk about it. All he ever said was that it was always better with you there. Which is what made today so hard.

It had been a two weeks since that fateful night of Fraggle Rock and the following morning of bliss. You and Bucky fell into an easy routine of friendly interaction during the day and as much of a workout in the gym as either of you could handle before the REAL workout took precedent at night. You had moved beyond the wrestling mats by then and had just a little more self control in order to make it to one of your rooms before disrobing.

This particular morning, you were aware which room you had stumbled into last night in a instant. Bucky’s room still consisted of 4 blank white walls, a bed, and a small bookshelf with a lamp on top. You were all for the minimalist look, but it could use a little personality. In a moment of inspiration, you grabbed a black Sharpie from the bookshelf and uncapped it. Rolling onto your stomach and scooting up to the wall above the head of the bed, you began to draw.

Bucky was awakened by your movement and blindly reached out for you grabbing your thigh, which caused you to jump with a yelp.

“Hey! You’re gonna mess up my masterpiece.”

“Your what?” he asked, opening one eye. He rolled over toward you and followed your gaze, planting a kiss on your bare shoulder as he watched you draw. “Is that me?”

You smiled with a nod. He was pointing to one of your characters which was barely more than a stick figure. His had a hastily drawn metal arm with a star on the shoulder and a man bun, holding a dumbbell. Your stick figure representation had a ponytail and a slightly curvy figure with music notes around her head. You drew a bubble above her head and wrote inside “Let’s get Buck naked!”

He laughed out loud, throwing his head back, then burying his face in your neck and covering it in kisses.

“May I?” he asked and you relinquished the marker. He drew band-aids on a handful of areas on your drawing’s body.

“Hey!” you protested, elbowing him in the ribs and reaching for the marker. Apparently he had noticed the bruise on your hip from running into the kitchen counter yesterday.

“Wait, I’m not finished!” he added a dialogue bubble above his own drawing and scrawled inside the words ’Gimme those American thighs.’

You giggled at that, curling into him with a kiss. You grabbed the marker one last time and signed your name under the drawing before you capped it and tossed it aside.

“Hmm. If anyone sees this, it might be a dead giveaway,” he stated.

You pulled away from him and grabbed the pillow to cover your small artwork, which was only about 3 inches tall and just above the mattress.

“Besides, is there a high probability that someone would be here on your bed to see it? Cause I mean we should come up with a code or something, maybe a day-of-the-week situation so things don’t get messy.”

“Y/N…”

But you couldn’t stop yourself, letting the playful but slightly insecure thoughts pass your lips.

“I mean, I could do Monday, Wednesday, Friday and every other Saturday if that works, but maybe we should all have a little powwow and….”

“Y/N, stop,” he said, holding your face gently with his hands. He pressed his lips to yours tenderly and held them there, as if to pass a wordless message on to you.

He pulled away a few inches to meet your eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re so beautiful.”

You’ve always had a tendency to deflect and joke about any sort of compliment regarding your outward appearance, but his sincerity made you believe him. And being seen through his eyes, you started to feel that way.

“And you know full well that there’s no one else. I’ve been with you every night, doll,” he chuckled.

It was true. Without really planning it, you had spent every single night with Bucky in one way or another since that very first kiss.

“You’re the only one for me. The only one I need,” he said with absolute certainty.

“Same to you, soldier,” you reciprocated with a smile. Try as you might to not be that insecure girl, it was still good to hear the words.

You held his hand to your face and sighed, praying to hold this moment forever.

The spell broke though, as he pressed his lips to yours and sat up, searching for the clock at his bedside.

“Oh, man. I’m supposed to meet Steve in 10.” Bucky threw off the covers in search of pants.

You both quickly learned that if Steve was unaware of either of your whereabouts, then he came searching which led to dodging the blond super soldier. It was best to not make him wait.

Bucky pulled a tank top over his head, sat down on the bed and bent to tie his shoes. He sat up, running his fingers through his brunette tresses to tame it. You sidled up behind him and gently took the hair tie from his hands. He sat still with eyes closed as you pulled his hair back into a small bun at the nape of his neck, tucking a few strands behind his ear that were a little shorter. He half turned toward you and pressed his lips to yours one last time.

“Thanks, doll. I’ll see you later?”

You nodded, running your fingertips over the scruff on his face as he smiled. He grabbed his gym bag and bolted through the door, shutting it behind him.

You collapsed backward onto the crumpled sheets and sighed as you mentally mapped your route back to your room without being spotted.

—————————————————————————

The morning and afternoon passed with training, lunch, and a nap because quite frankly, you hadn’t slept a full night in weeks. Not that you were complaining. You did see Bucky during the day in some form almost daily, usually caught up on a conversation with one the team members or teaching him something about technology he wasn’t quite up on. He was even training with the team to some extent, mostly sparring with Steve until Cap was sure Bucky could do it without hurting anyone. You had no doubts of that, but for Steve it had to be a process.

Later, you headed to the kitchen since it was your night to cook dinner. You thought it was a great night for carb loading, so you pulled out a recipe for cheesy lasagna and got to work. But first, music. Everyone in the tower knew what to expect when you were cooking. Preparing a meal for you meant blasting tunes and dancing around like an idiot. It was just more fun that way. The whole team knew not to interrupt and stayed away. You hit play on the speaker dock connected to your phone and pulled out the necessary pots and pans.

With the pasta sauce bubbling away and water boiling for the noodles, you started to chop the vegetables, swaying your hips and singing along to an Alanis Morissette song. Setting down the knife, you grabbed a wooden spoon and brought it to your lips, treating it as a microphone. You finished the chorus and then spun around during the break in lyrics, suddenly seeing a figure out of the corner of your eye.

You jumped, “Bucky! You scared the tar out of me. What are you doing here?”

He leaned against the doorway with a smile on his face, “Enjoying the show.”

You brought the wooden spoon up to your mouth and jumped back in with the next verse, singing and dancing only for him. If it’s a private show he wanted, then he would get it.

_**“You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met.  
You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits”** _

You wiggled your eyebrows at him during those last few words, soliciting a laugh from Bucky. You continued on:

__**“What took me so long?  
** I’ve never felt this healthy before  
I never wanted something rational  
I am aware now  
I am aware now. 

__**You’ve already won me over in spite of me  
** And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
And don’t be surprised if…” 

You cut off mid lyric and froze, slowly turning toward the stove to stir the sauce and simultaneous hide your blushing face. You almost finished the last words of the chorus, but couldn’t. _**And don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn’t help it, it’s all your fault.**_

You couldn’t say those words. Not directed at him. He might not think anything of it, but for you it could be….a little too revealing. It was ridiculous, though. Considering the “L word” after only two weeks? Well, you two had actually been hanging out and getting to know each other for longer than that. But still, it was way too early…right?

Bucky didn’t seem to notice your odd behavior and came up behind you, putting his arms around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“Something smells good.”

You cleared your throat, “Lasagna. Almost ready for the oven.”

“Well, don’t let me interrupt,” he said, kissing your cheek and then moving around to the bar area to take a seat. He watched as you finished assembling the lasagnas and put them in the oven, occasionally laughing at your dance moves or asking a question about the recipe.

You wiped your hands on a towel and smiled at accomplishing dinner, then noticed the slow song that had just come up on the playlist.

“Oh, I had forgotten about this song! It’s so amazing,” you declared as you started to sway with eyes closed.

Bucky suddenly caught you by the waist, putting your hand in his and pulling you close.  

“I think this might actually be a song that I could dance to,” he said, beginning to turn slow circles with your body pressed against him. You kept your eyes on his as the voice began to sing:

****_“Don’t ask me what you know is true_  
_Don’t have to tell you, I love your precious heart  
_ _I, I was standing, you were there  
_ _Two worlds collided and they could never tear us apart.”_

You laid your head on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat as the song continued.

**_“We could live for a thousand years, but if I hurt you,_  
** I’d make wine from your tears  
I told you that we could fly, ‘cause we all have wings  
but some of us don’t know why  
I was standing, you were there  
Two worlds collided and they could never ever tear us apart…” 

Bucky spoke first, asking, “I like this, who is it?”

“INXS.” you answered, raising your head.

He looked at you puzzled, “In excess?”

You laughed, “No, I-N-X-S. Four letters.”

“Oh. That still doesn’t make sense.”

You smiled, kissing away his confused expression. His lips brushed yours tenderly, his metal arm coming up to cup the back of your neck. It still amazed you that this arm of pain and destruction could also be so gentle and soft. Most of your kisses were hungry and impatient, this one seemed slow, as if you had all the time in the world.

Speaking of time you pulled back and said, “You know, it’s almost dinner time and the delicious smell might start bringing in stragglers. They could witness us touching each other inappropriately which may bring up questions.”

Bucky threw his head back in laughter, unfazed. His lips met yours again softly before saying, “I asked JARVIS to keep a lookout, just in case. But honestly, let ‘em see. The sneaking around thing was fun for a while, but now I just want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you whenever I want. The constant waiting is killing me!”

You laughed and buried your face in his chest. “Are you sure?,” you asked, meeting his eyes.

“Absolutely.”

“Okay,” you grinned. “Soon.”

You both swayed to the music a moment more and you started to speak before JARVIS announced, “Sergeant Barnes, Mr. Stark is approaching the kitchen area.”

JARVIS knew about you two. Of course he did, he knew everything. He was mostly discrete though, so it wasn’t a worry.

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Bucky responded, kissing your lips once more before he released you and walked to the far end of the spacious room, collapsing into a comfy chair to read.

Tony waltzed into the kitchen, sniffing the air. You had pulled out the ingredients for a green salad and started to assemble it.

“Mmmmm it smells amazing, Y/N. I’m starving!,” Tony said, peaking into the oven. “Lasagna! Perfect meal before a mission. You ready for this?”

You stiffened, stealing a glance in Bucky’s direction where he met your eyes.

“Yeah. The leg’s feeling great. Tip top shape.”

Bucky’s eye were on the book in front of him, but he seemed frozen. You knew you should have told him earlier. Sam, Natasha and Clint walked in the room followed shortly by Steve. At that moment, Bucky jumped up and pulled Cap aside for what looked like a serious discussion. Bucky’s face was almost angry as he gestured toward the rest of the team, including you, trying to make his point. Cap slowly shook his head, putting this hand on the other man’s shoulder to calm him, and tried to respond. Bucky shook it off, returning to his chair and the now forgotten book.

With dinner on the table, everyone took a seat, Bucky sitting next to you but with a little more distance than usual. You all ate and talked about this impending mission with most of the team going. It might be a long one, at least a week to 10 days. It involved some recon as well as undercover and surveillance. The team had to be in place by morning, so you were flying out late tonight. Bucky didn’t say a word the whole time. He finished his plate and brought it to the sink, starting on the dirty dishes.

You were finished as well, so you approached him saying, “Hey, I think Nat and Sam are on dish duty tonight. You don’t have to…”

Bucky dropped the sponge in the water and dried his hands. Glancing around, he grabbed your hand and pulled you around the corner out of sight from everyone.

He took a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I meant to. I was going to before dinner but we were interrupted and…”

“When did you know?”

“Yesterday afternoon. Cap needed time for logistics, so he waited a day. I though maybe he even told you…what was that conversation about tonight? Are you upset that I’m going? Cause I’m totally fine, I’m ready for…”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just….Why didn’t you mention it this morning?”

You sighed, looking down, “Because…I don’t want to go. I am going and I mean, it’s my job, but it’s just this is the first mission that I…”

“What? What is it?”

You finally blurted, “I don’t want to leave you. You’ve been amazing to me and I know you’ve been sleeping better and I’m so happy that you’re happy and it’s just…”

“Y/N. I’ll be okay.” He said, stepping forward to grasp your hands in his. “Thank you, though. You just…be careful. And come back to me.”

You nodded, pressing a kiss to his lips before slipping away to get ready for tonight.

———————

Bucky came to the Quinjet hanger to see you all off, meeting your eyes and waving with a brave smile on his face. Your expression was less certain. Taking a seat next to Cap, you settled in for the ride.

“Hey, Steve, what’s up with Bucky? He seemed upset tonight or something.” You asked in a hopefully nonchalant tone.

“Oh, it’s just… he wants to officially join the team and go out on missions with us. He feels like he doesn’t contribute or something and doesn’t want to be cooped up in the tower anymore. I get it, but it’s just too dangerous right now. HYDRA is still looking for him and we still don’t know what control they have over him.”

“Huh.” you responded, unsure of what to say. It made a lot more sense now, the tension between Bucky and Steve plus the sudden mission that he was once again not a part of.

Great. Something to obsess about over the next week while trying to focus on the task at hand. This should be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is! Part 4. Hope you enjoyed reading it cause I had fun writing it. :) Please PLEASE let me know your thoughts. I love having feedback!


	5. Unavailable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: reader x Bucky, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Steve, OC Viktor Sokolov
> 
> Summary: Y/N is on a mission with the Avengers and things don’t exactly go as planned. 
> 
> Warnings: One swear word, action/mild violence, then some fluff!!

As far as missions went, this was actually pretty boring so far. Five days in and things were finally coming together. Days were spent doing surveillance, analyzing patterns between the comings and goings of the frequent guests to the compound in Eastern Europe suspected of housing HYDRA operations. Which for you basically meant freezing your butt off in the middle of the woods in mid Winter and keeping an eye on the only road to and from the compound. Sam was in charge of scouting from above with help from Red Wing and Natasha had tapped into their computers to watch for activity. Steve had spent what seemed like forever seeking out weak points in the compound itself before calling the whole team back together with a plan for tonight.

Reconvened at the small Bed & Breakfast you had all been staying at in a nearby small town, Steve laid out the plan as he pointed to blueprints and satellite photos. The gist was that the head honcho of the company that shelled HYDRA was known for his big, expensive parties and that was the team’s way in. Natasha had swindled 2 invitations after chatting up a local who worked security and was willing to tell her anything she wanted once she was done with him. Sam would fly Nat in over the wall and watch from the air, while Clint kept an eye out from his high vantage point outside to pick off any troublemakers. You were assigned to be a guest at the party with Steve as your date. Your duty was to keep the womanizing boss man occupied with your feminine wiles so Steve could check out the area he suspected was where HYDRA weaponry was hidden.

“Why do I have to flirt with the gross old guy? Can’t Nat do it?” you whined to Steve.

“Well, I’m flattered at how excited you are to accompany me to the party, but..”

“No! Steve I didn’t mean you. You’re not old. Or gross! I mean you’re older than me but most of the team is. You’re what, 32 or whatever? I mean biologically. That’s not too old. I would totally date a guy in his 30s. I mean, not just any guy. The right kind of guy who had shared interests and….”

You finally took a breath from your tangential rant to see the faces around you either amused or just rolling their eyes. Luckily, Steve was just smiling at you.

“Ahem. I, uh…was objecting to the old boss guy. Not you.”

Steve replied, smiling, “I got it, Y/N. I knew what you meant. I do have a sense of humor, you know.”

You gave an embarrassed smile and hid your face in your hands.

“Well, since Y/N has established that I am neither old nor gross, can we continue with the mission? Nat has to get into the computer servers that she couldn’t access remotely. They could hold vital information about hopefully the last Hydra holdouts we haven’t been able to find. So, it’s up to you to distract him, Y/N. I’m sure Nat can make you look presentable.” he grinned at you.

You grimaced at the thought. Undercover work wasn’t something you had much practice in. Natasha had schooled you somewhat in the art of seduction, distraction and body language. Didn’t mean you were good at it.

“Don’t worry, little sis. Once I’m done with you, he’ll be so distracted you won’t even have to do much talking at all,” she winked.

Ugh.

———————————————————-

Natasha wasn’t lying. In a red, slinky dress with a plunging neckline and a slit up to mid-thigh, you looked pretty hot. Some sort of miracle bra gave you way more cleavage than you even knew you had and strapped into the most uncomfortable underwear ever “to avoid tacky lines” along with your thigh holster equipped with your throwing knives, you were ready. Nat had pulled your hair back in a sleek twist with a few tendrils around your face and painted your lips a bright red. The 4 inch heels on your feet made your legs look impossibly long.

All you could think was ‘Bucky would die if he saw me like this’. So you let him. You discreetly took a photo of yourself from head to toe in the full-length mirror and sent it off to Bucky. You’ve had very little contact since you left, only the occasional text on your down time. He still struggled with his fairly new touch screen cell phone, but you were pretty positive he could open the photo attachment on his own. And you were right. Moments later you received a single emoji (which he had apparently discovered), the one where the mouth was downturned and the eyes were clenched shut, almost like the little face was in pain. Oops. Poor Bucky.

Nat called from downstairs so you put your phone away and grabbed your borrowed clutch and headed for the door.

Arriving at the party in a sleek black borrowed SUV, you made your entrance into the grand ballroom with your arm around Steve’s. Several eyes were on you as the pair of you walked through the doorway, including your target boss man who met your eyes. You pretended to blush and avoid his gaze before looking back at him with a shy smile. He was hooked. Ew.

Steve led you out onto the dance floor and took his hand in yours, the other circling around your waist. He turned you in slow circles to the rhythm of the slow orchestral music playing.

“I thought you couldn’t dance,” you said surprised.

“I’ve learned a little. Enough to get by. I think you’ve caught his eye. Now we give it a few minutes.”

You two danced in silence for a moment as you looked around the room at your lavish surroundings. Three exquisite chandeliers with the largest in the center of the room right above you, ornate carvings and paintings on the ceiling and walls, twirling bodies covered in expensive fabrics and glittering jewels. This was a far cry from your usual leggings and sweaters, puttering around the tower at home. You had to admit, it was a little fun to dress up, despite the fact that your thigh holster was starting to chafe, since you were used to wearing pants under it instead of bare skin.

You could feel the gaze of the target boss man on you as you moved around the dance floor.

Steve met your eyes and gave you a slow grin, saying, “You really do look beautiful, Y/N. I know you were hesitant to do it, but you’re fitting right in.”

“Thanks, Steve. You look very handsome in your tux, I must say.”

He smiled, looking down, and then started to speak, but stopped himself.

“What? What is it?”

“I just…I was thinking that maybe when the mission was over we could…I don’t know. Go to dinner or something?”

Your eyebrows shot up, your mouth dropping open. You were literally speechless for once in your life.

“Nevermind, it’s fine. I just thought with what you were saying earlier about dating someone older, maybe…”

“No, no!” you stopped him, finding your words. “It’s not that I wouldn’t want to. I would totally say yes under normal circumstances, but….” You weren’t even sure what to say. Should you tell him?

The blond soldier awaited your response, holding your gaze.

“I’m not….technically….available?” you said hesitantly.

“Oh.” he said, sounding disappointed.

“I mean, it’s not like a definite thing? We haven’t really talked for sure about it, but…it kind of seems real. I’m sorry, Steve.”

“No, don’t apologize. I should have known you’d be taken. You’re pretty amazing, Y/N.”

You gave his hand a squeeze and light peck on the cheek before you pulled away. It was time.

“I’ll go get us some drinks,” he said, which was code for the next part of the mission.

He left the dance floor and you found yourself alone. Sure enough, the boss sauntered slowly to your side. You could smell his expensive and overpowering cologne before you turned toward him. He looked to be in his late 40s, gray peppering his receding hair and beard. In your heels, you were a few inches taller, which didn’t seem to bother him. You heard he liked his ladies tall and statuesque, which was evident as he greedily raked his eyes over your figure, lingering way too long on certain areas.

“All alone, gorgeous?” he said through a thick accent.

“It would seem so, Mr….”

“Sokolov. Viktor Sokolov, at your service.” He took your fingers in his gloved hand and grazed your knuckles with his lips. “May I have this dance?”

You smiled and nodded, trying not to cringe as he grabbed your waist and pulled your body right up to his bulging belly, your ample chest uncomfortably close to his face. His breath smelled of vodka and there was a tinge of red on his cheeks. Oh, good. He was drunk.

As he pulled you around the dance floor, he whispered in your ear in Russian while you giggled and swatted his arm, pretending to be flattered. You understood some of the words, thanks to Natasha, and it was all disgusting.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you suddenly heard Steve’s voice in your ear. You completely forgot about the comms that each member of the team was discretely wearing in one ear. Steve preferred radio silence while each of your got into position, but left the channel open in case a problem arose. Which meant…your earlier conversation with Steve was public knowledge now. Awesome.

_Nat, Sam, what’s your status?_

_In position on the balcony, working on the lock right now._ Natasha reported.

Then Sam, _All good from above, Cap._

 _All clear_ , said Clint.

_Good. I took down two of the guards in front of the weapons area. I need a code for the door though. Nat, are you tapped into the security system?_

_Yup._ You could hear electronic beeping noises on her highly advanced phone. _Got it._

_Okay, I’m in._

Sokolov tightened his grip on you as you felt his hand roaming from your lower back down toward your butt. You gently pulled his hand back up, giggling while you tried not to dry heave.

Sam’s voice broke through, _Nat, heat signature shows you’ve got 3 headed your way._

 _Oh, son of a…_. You could hear punches landing and the crunch of bones breaking.

 _I’ve run into 4 more at the bottom of the stairs, so I’m tied up._ Cap said between hits.

_6 more coming from the opposite direction, Nat._

_Dammit. Sam, can you get in to her?_

_Nah, they’re covering that entrance now._

_Y/N, I’m sorry, but she needs backup. East wing, second corridor._

You smiled at the man in front of you and lowered your face toward his, “Could I use the little ladies room?”

“Of course, my darling. I can send one of my guards with you.”

“Oh, no! I hate to be a bother. I’ll be right back,” you said, playfully bopping the man on the nose with your finger. You walked toward the foyer, swaying your hips and then turning back to blow him a kiss. Hopefully he would stay put and wait for you, remaining unaware of the happenings elsewhere in the compound.

As you turned a corner outside the ballroom, you glanced down the empty hallway, peeled off your heels and held them in your hands as you broke into a sprint toward Natasha. Two rights and a left later and you came upon the brawl ahead. Three men lay on the ground, twitching from Nat’s shock devices, two were shaking their heads and starting to get back up for more. The red headed assassin kneed a Hydra agent in groin as she simultaneously had another man in a headlock.

At full speed, you charged a muscular brunette who paused for a moment at the sight of you in a gown headed straight for him. You tossed one of your heels at the head of another man, knocking him out cold. Reaching your target, you leapt with your right foot, using his thigh to climb, then hooked your left knee from behind onto his shoulder. Swinging your right leg up and clenching his head with your thighs, you threw your body weight using momentum, bringing the man down with a loud thud. You reached under the hem of your dress pulling out two knives, one you threw, burying in the neck of goateed man with a ponytail while the other pierced the side of the agent you were currently sitting on.

You felt a booted kick to your side before you could dodge it, causing you to gasp in pain. Turning, you grasped the man’s leg and pulled, throwing him off balance and he went down. You leapt over him, landing with a somersault as you grasped your other shoe and brought it down on his temple before he crumpled on the floor.

Suddenly, you felt a yank on your hair from behind wrenching your head back as a fist collided with your face. You kicked straight back, connecting with your assailant’s knee and he released you. Rolling to a crouch, you swept with your left foot, knocking the legs out from under him. Another knife to his neck, you stood grabbing a gun from the ground previous dropped by your first takedown. A pistol-whip to the face of the last standing Hydra agent, then Nat aimed a kick for his gut and the man went down hard.

Breathing heavily, you looked over at Nat with a smile. “Did you get what you needed?”

“The files should be transferred by now. Give me a minute.” she said, ducking into the servers room.

Making sure all your attackers were still out cold, you caught sight of a mirror on the wall and your now disheveled look. Half of your hairdo was now loose and there was a small trail of blood on the side of your face. There was no going back to the party like that.

“Steve? We gotta go.” you spoke through the comm. “There should be a security alert soon.”

_Evac 5 minutes. Head to the southeast tower._

“Copy,” you replied.

Natasha exited the room triumphant as she grabbed your shoe and handed it to you.

“So, unavailable, huh? Who’s the guy?”

“Now’s not the best time, Nat,” you replied as you searched among the bodies for your other shoe.

Natasha smirked at you and looped her arm to yours after you had successfully gotten both heels on. The pair of you climbed the stairs to the tower as directed, followed closely by Steve who had just joined you. Climbing out onto a balcony, you could see Clint had shot a grappling hook into the wall with a line attached. Sam dropped a two-handed zip lining device down to Steve and Nat.

“Hold on tight to me, Y/N.” he said.

From behind him you looped one arm around his neck and the other under his arm, linking your fingers, as he raised his hands grasping the device. Positive you were secure, Steve slid down the line with you, landing just outside the wall where Clint was waiting, Natasha following just after. You made it.

————————————————————

Back on the Quinjet after hastily checking out of the B&B, you were finally able to change out of the uncomfortable dress and all that was underneath. It had been fun, but you were over it. Changed into regular combat clothes that now seemed incredibly comfy, you laid down on a few open seats and pulled a blanket over you. Maybe it was the irregular sleep schedule you had kept the past few weeks while with Bucky, but now it was almost impossible to get a full night’s rest the entire mission. Also, it felt like you couldn’t get warm enough now. Being in bed with a human heater had spoiled you. There were never enough blankets without him.

At 3am, you finally arrived at the tower, exhausted beyond belief. Didn’t matter though. You feigned a yawn and headed in the direction of your room for the benefit of the team’s eyes, but then cut through the kitchen and down the stairs to Bucky’s room. You couldn’t wait any longer. Dropping your duffle bag of gear quietly outside the door, you gently opened it and peered inside only to see Bucky’s bed made and clearly not slept in. Huh. The gym perhaps? It was around that time so you grabbed your bag and jogged down one more flight of stairs but no lights were on in the cavernous room. Weird.   
Tired of lugging around your duffle, you actually did head to your room to drop it off and then search in earnest for the metal-armed man. Where could he be at this hour?

You entered your room and were about to flick on the light when the moonlight spilling out of the window illuminated a shape on your bed. Gently putting down your bag and removing your boots, you quietly crept forward to see the one and only Bucky Barnes lying in your bed with his back to you. Walking around to the far side, you could see he was tucked into himself, knees almost to his chest. You’d never seen such a large man look so small. His brow was furrowed and his lips turned downward. You were used to him sprawled next to you or his limbs being tangled with yours all night. You wondered if this tight fetal position was how he usually slept alone and the thought made your heart ache. Next to him lay your portable CD player with headphones snaking into his ears. The tinny sound of music you could now hear, seeing a disc was spinning inside.

From the disheveled looks of it, he had dug through your collection for something specific. Your eyes had now adjusted to the darkness and with the moonlight you could see that the sleeve to the CD was next to it. INXS was playing and from the display on the Discman, “Never Tear Us Apart” was on repeat. Your heart squeezed at that realization.

All you wanted was to hold him tight, but with how tense he seemed, unexpected touching to wake his restless sleep seemed like a bad idea. You pressed stop on the CD and quietly began to speak.

“Bucky. Bucky it’s me, it’s Y/N. Wake up, handsome.”

He shifted slightly and frowned even further before he opened one of his eyes, confused and bleary-eyed. Shock registered on his face for a split second before he opened both eyes, removed the headphones, and lifted his head off the mattress. He reached his hand out slowly and caressed the side of your face.

“Y/N. You’re real. I mean, you’re here. I thought you wouldn’t be home for a few days.”

“Change of plans. I’m sorry to wake you, but you didn’t look too comfortable anyway. May I join you?”

“Yes! Please!” he grasped for you sleepily.

“Hold on, hold on. Let me get undressed.” You removed your combat gear and stripped down to your camisole and panties, reminiscent of your first night spent together. Bucky opened the blanket and you crawled into his side, he rolled into you to spoon. He let out a deep, heavy sigh it seemed he had been holding. Inhaling your scent, he pressed a kiss into your hair.

“I’m so glad you’re back.” he sighed.

“Me, too,” you replied as you both let sleep claim you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever to write because this is my first attempt at a mission/action/fighting scene. Whew. I hope it makes sense and flows well. :) Send me any comments or constructive criticism in that regard! I’d love to your your thoughts.


	6. No Light, No Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: reader x Bucky, Natasha
> 
> Summary: After returning from a mission, you spend the morning with Bucky and later he finally confides in you how he’s been feeling. 
> 
> Warnings: fluff, angst, sad Bucky, mentions of violence, more fluff, then a surprise/cliffhanger-ish ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this in one long stretch of 4-ish hours one afternoon. It’s intense so I’m excited to hear your responses. Also, this part is close to my heart because of the post-war PTSD references. I have a brother in the military who has gone overseas many times and he has struggled returning to life and relationships afterward. I don’t take this lightly, I just wanted to give some idea of what Bucky might be dealing with. 
> 
> I’ve been on a Florence + the Machine kick while writing lately and this particular song just really struck me hard as fitting for Bucky. So here we go! Send me an ask or message with any thoughts.

Morning came and went and the two of you slept on. Since neither of you apparently slept well at all the past week it was catch up time. Luckily, Steve gave everyone the whole day off to recover and rest after the mission. Sometime a little after noon, Bucky began to stir which finally woke you as well. You were still lying on your side with your back to him in a spooning fashion, a cool metal arm around your waist. Bucky’s arm tightened around you to bring you closer and you hissed in pain from the movement.

Bucky immediately released his grip on you. “What? What happened, did I hurt you?” he asked in deep concern.

“No, no! I’m fine. Really.”

He doubted your declaration as he tossed off the blankets and with your camisole lifted up slightly, he could see the bruise blooming on your left side over your ribs.

“Doll, what happened?”

“It’s nothing, just a failed block during the mission. I’m okay,” you assured him, rolling onto your back to face him.

“What about your head, Y/N,” he asked accusingly.

In the daylight, he could see a butterfly bandage just above your right eye with a small bruise of its own.

“Just a scratch. It’s the only hit he got in, I made sure of that.” You grinned.

Bucky was not amused. He sat up in bed and pulled the covers off you completely.

“Hey! I’m cold!”

“Any other injuries I should know about? Did you get those two checked out?” he said as he carefully scanned your entire body.

You sighed, “Bucky. Really, I’m okay. And yes, I think that’s the extent of my so-called injuries. Nat checked them out, it’s nothing, I’m positive. Which is pretty good, considering my track record.”

Bucky mildly agreed, so he laid back down on the pillow and gingerly brought you down with him, tucking his flesh arm around you. You wrapped the blankets around you both and snuggled into his chest.

“Have you been sleeping in here every night?” you let loose your thoughts from last night.

“No,” he said quietly. “I tried to go back to sleeping a few hours and then heading to the gym before trying to sleep again, but that doesn’t work anymore. I got kind of used to you wearing me out every night.” He smile appeared and then faded. “I just missed you and thought being around your things might…I don’t know…”

You smiled up at him, “And the music?”

“It helps. Keeps my mind on happier things. Mostly.” A ghost of a frown appeared and quickly disappeared from his face, almost like you had imagined it.

“Last night you said something about ‘you’re real’ when I woke you up…”

“I did?” He sighed. “I guess…my mind plays tricks on me sometimes. I mean, I’m with you constantly for weeks and then you’re gone. I had almost convinced myself you were a figment of my imagination.”

You stretched upward to meet his lips, “I promise you, I’m really here. And INXS is incredible, I don’t blame you. Wait!”

Rolling over and stretching toward the floor, you plucked a CD from the messy pile then handed it to him. ”You should check this one out next.”

He looked at it, unsure, “Florence and the Machine?”

“Yup. _Ceremonials_.”

He sighed, knowing you won’t give up. “Okay. So how was the mission? You said there was a change of plans?”

“Oh, yeah. It just ended more dramatically than planned.”

You started from the beginning, retelling the whole story of the past week, ending with the events of last night. He laughed at your rant about calling Steve old and gross and possibly dating older men.

“Well, I guess it’s true, though.” he said laughing, pressing his lips to your temple.

You described in detail the grand party and the actual gross and old guy, Bucky’s lips tightening when you mentioned him getting hands-y. You neglected to mention your conversation with Steve momentarily, moving on to the battle portion.

“Wait a minute, you fought in that red dress? You put a man in a thigh choke in THAT? Whew. Lucky guy. Until he passed out, that is.”

You elbowed him in the ribs, then finishing your story.

“I’m glad you all got out of there safely. Mostly. More glad to have you home.” he said, rubbing your back.

“Um. There is one small thing I should probably tell you, I guess. Steve…kind of….asked me out?”

“WHAT.” His head shot off the bed a few inches, “That little punk, I’m gonna…”

“Whoa, there, cowboy. It’s not like he knows about us. And I was pretty irresistible in that dress. I mean, you saw it.”

He paused a moment, resettling on the bed, “Yeah, I guess I can’t blame him. Still…I might have to give him a left hook to the jaw next time I see him. Wait, what did you tell him?”

“I told him I was kind of…unavailable. That wasn’t a lie. Right?” You were a little unsure.

Bucky grinned, “You are very much unavailable, doll. And so am I, in case anyone asks.”

“Good to know,” You said with a smile, which then faltered. “Speaking of Steve, he told me you want to join the team.”

“Well that blond knucklehead just can’t keep his mouth shut, can he?”

“He’s just worried about you. Maybe one day soon…”

Bucky exhaled loudly. “Not soon enough. That red dress, though. That was a mean trick, sending that photo. Does things to a man.”

“Oh, yeah?” you said grinning, pulling away from his side to lift one leg over his body and straddle him. “Like what?”

He pulled your face down to meet his and spoke between kisses, “You know what I want? I want you- _kiss_ \- to go to - _kiss_ \- get those ribs x-rayed - _kiss_ -before any funny business.”

He lifted you off to the side by your hips and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“Are you serious?” you said with a pout.

“As a heart attack,” he replied while exiting the room, waving goodbye holding your CD.

You slumped into the pillows. Rude. Might as well get it over with, you thought, grabbing clean clothes and heading for the shower.

——————————————————

After leaving the infirmary, you dropped down to the main floor offices for a debriefing of the mission (apparently a ‘day off’ did not exclude paperwork). Steve greeted you with a nod and a tight smile. Natasha spent the entire time trying to pry out information about this guy you had chosen over Steve, which resulted in you ignoring her entirely. Much to her chagrin. Headed back upstairs, you were passing through the common area when you saw a familiar shape sitting in one of the comfy chairs.

You grinned as you walked toward him, exclaiming, “X-rays are clear, Mr. Worry. Just a bruise, like I said.”

Placing your hands on Bucky’s shoulders from behind, he didn’t turn around or respond, which was odd. Then you heard a sniffle. Slowly walking around the chair to face him, you could see his eyes were red and he wouldn’t meet your gaze. Your CD player sat in his lap with the headphones wrapped around it. You knelt by the chair and gently lifted his chin with your fingers until he finally looked at you.

“Hey. What’s going on?” you asked with concern.

He sniffed again and then gave a small smile.

Speaking finally, he said, “This is all your fault, you know.” He chuckled thickly.

“Oh, yeah?” you said, grateful to hear the humor in his voice. “How’s that?”

He placed the CD player on the chair’s armrest and reached his arms out, you crawled onto his lap sitting sideways with your knees up. He wrapped his arms around your torso with his linked fingers resting on your hip.

“You know, I never even thought about song lyrics until I met you. Back then, if it had a nice rhythm, it was a good song. Or if it was slow enough to ask a girl to dance, I liked it. No thought beyond that. But now…”

Bucky paused and inhaled a stuttering breath before releasing it to continue.

“I was listening to that Florence CD you mentioned, song number…7 ? And I just…I lost it.”

You frowned, trying to remember the song or anything in it that would upset him. “May I?”

He unwound the headphones and handed an earbud to you while keeping one for himself. Hitting play on the Discman, you heard the drums begin followed by the ethereal voice of Florence Welch.

**_You are the hole in my head_  
You are the space in my bed  
You are the silence in between   
What I thought and what I said**

**_You are the night time fear_  
You are the morning when it’s clear  
When it’s over, you’re the start  
You’re my head, You’re my heart**

Bucky pulled you closer, burying his head in your chest. You cradled his head in your arms, stroking his hair as the chorus began.

**_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_  
I never knew daylight could be so violent  
A revelation in the light of day  
You can’t choose what stays and what fades away  
And I’d do anything to make you stay  
No light, no light  
Tell me what you want me to say**

Once the song reached the bridge, you could feel dampness soaking through your sweatshirt.

**_Would you leave me if I told you what I’ve done?_  
And would you leave me if i told you what I’ve become?  
Cause it’s so easy to sing it to a crowd  
But it’s so hard, my love, to say it to you alone…**

You could feel the choking sobs wracking his body. As the final chorus ended and the song concluded, his breathing calmed. You brought his head up to meet your eyes, touching his forehead to yours. Then with eyes closed, he took deep breaths and you gave him the time he needed before he opened them. He pulled back and rubbed his flesh hand over his face, sniffing loudly.

Clearing his throat he spoke finally, “I’ve uh…I’ve never had a song speak to me like that. Almost like it was written for me.” Swallowing slowly, he continued. “I don’t really talk about my past and I’ve been able to avoid it while I’m with you. You help me forget…make me feel a little more like I used to be. More like a man, not the machine they turned me into. And I want to be that man all the time, for you and for myself. It’s just…my mind won’t let me forget. The dreams…flashes of memory….the faces…so many faces….”

You lifted his right hand and kissed the flesh of his palm, then holding it on your chest over your heart. Waiting. You knew he needed to get it all out.

“Most of my nightmares are the same. Flashes of cities, targets, blood spilt….it all blends together. But there’s a new one that just started recently. I wake up next to you, turn to gaze into your beautiful face and…”

His voice breaking, he cleared his throat and tried to start again.

“I look at you and…there’s no light. No life in your eyes… and it’s my fault. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever…”

You take his face in your hands and gently press your lips to his, tasting the salty tears left there. This does explain how he’s treated you like glass since you got home. You want to speak, but feel like there is more so you wait.

Bucky lets out a deep sigh, “I didn’t want to tell you this. Any of it. I feel selfish for that because I want to keep you. I want you to stay. I thought maybe if I didn’t say anything I could pretend and just feel like that man from before, the one who might’ve deserved you. If I didn’t tell you what I’ve done you wouldn’t leave like you have every right to. But I needed you to know, Y/N. I want to share everything with you because I love you so much, I don’t think I can go back to life without you.”

Your eyes grew wide with that last declaration, shocked for a moment, then you smiled. Brushing his tears away with your thumbs, you made sure his eyes were fixed upon yours before speaking.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you have never hurt me. Ever. You are the kindest, gentlest, most generous man I’ve ever met. And I love you, too.”

A wide smile split his face, bringing more tears to his eyes. He brought your face down to his for a long, tender kiss as he murmured “I love you” against your lips.

With your face only inches away from his, you spoke again, “You can’t scare me away that easily. I’m not going anywhere. You might not be exactly who you once were, but those monsters tried to kill him off and failed. I see more of him every day. In that cocky smile of yours or the look in your eye when you tell me about a new rediscovered memory. He’s there. But you get to decide who you now become. Who do you want to be, Bucky Barnes?”

He brought a hand up to brush your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I don’t know. But I want to be the man in love with you. That feels pretty good.” He grinned.

You smiled back, but then gave a light whack to his arm, “I was going to say it first.”

“What?”

“I was going to say ‘I love you’ first. I wanted to last week but I thought it might freak you out. Guess it took you longer to figure it out, huh?”

He chuckled lightly, “No, I thought it would freak YOU out. And I definitely loved you first.”

“Excuse me? I saw you in that tank top and man bun and that was it. I was gone. Definitely first.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree, then, huh?”

You perked up, “Wait! Hold that thought.”

You dug your phone out of your hoodie pocket and swiped a few times before plugging the headphone jack into it. You handed Bucky his ear bud before replacing your own and hitting play. Opening with piano chords, the song then began with lyrics.

**_You are my sweetest downfall_  
I loved you first  
I loved you first  
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth  
I have to go, I have to go  
Your hair was long when we first met…**

Bucky smiled and shook his head, “I don’t know how you always find the perfect song.”

You shrugged, “It’s a gift.”

He brought you in for a long kiss, letting the song play in the background. That is until he caught onto the Samson story of the song and pulled back abruptly at the next words.

**_Oh I cut his hair myself one night  
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light_ **

“Whoa, wait a minute! No one’s touching my hair.” He declared to your surprised face.

You laughed out loud, kissing his lips, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

You pulled the earbuds out of both of your ears and pulled him closer until you heard a voice being cleared behind you and you both froze.

“Well, this is interesting,” said the voice.

[  
No Light, No Light by Florence + the Machine](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DHGH-4jQZRcc&t=M2UwOTM3ZjQ1OTM2MjdkZDc4NzkzMjc0NDkzMWQyMTAyMjFlNzlmNyx3emNjb0tEMg%3D%3D&b=t%3AAPTZsA8IqrK1ibe3l-X-1Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Favengerofyourheart.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F147927368111%2Fno-light-no-light-reader-x-bucky-accidents&m=1)

[Samson by Regina Spektor](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dp62rfWxs6a8&t=YWE2ZmMwOWEzZmVkODgzYTc5MzAzYTU5MmNlZGVlYmNhZWY1ZmZiNSx3emNjb0tEMg%3D%3D&b=t%3AAPTZsA8IqrK1ibe3l-X-1Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Favengerofyourheart.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F147927368111%2Fno-light-no-light-reader-x-bucky-accidents&m=1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh! Who could it be? I guess we’ll find out next chapter. :) Yes, I’m so mean. Send me a message or ask to let me know what you think! I’m trying to post a little more often, but it takes time and inspiration. Your messages and likes definitely motivate me! I love this new community I’ve found. :) You’re all the best ever!!


	7. Tabula Rasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Reader x Bucky, Natasha
> 
> Summary: The two of you get caught so you ask for one more day before sharing with the team. 
> 
> Warnings: none, just sexy fluff, maybe sad Bucky? Slight cliffhanger?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so wild to read through this series again as I also do some editing cause yikes. haha. I was still figuring out things in the beginning. Also a reminder that this series is set just after CATWS. 
> 
> The song mentioned is "Push" by Sarah McLachlan.

“Well, this is interesting.” said the voice behind you.

With your hands still on either side of his face, you kept your eyes on Bucky. You could feel the tension rising in him for being caught with you and during such a vulnerable moment. His eyes wide, you slid your hand to the back of his neck, massaging it, and wove your fingers into his hair. You gave a small smile and he started to relax. Still keeping your gaze on Bucky, you finally responded.

“Hi, Nat.”

You finally looked her way once you were sure Bucky was calm. The redhead stood with her arms folded, one cynical eyebrow sky high. She took slow steps toward you, coming to the side of the chair a few feet away. Bucky was resting his forehead on your shoulder, avoiding her gaze.

Natasha parted her red lips to no doubt ask the multiple questions she had, but you spoke first.

“Can we have a day?” desperation in your voice. “Please, Nat? I promise I’ll answer any questions and let you yell at me for lying or whatever tomorrow. Just a day.”

She paused, taken aback by the odd the request and seriousness of your tone. Her features softened as she took a step back.

“Fine,” she agreed, leaving the room the way she came.

Exhaling finally, you met his eyes and gave a wide smile, a little relieved.

“It was time anyway,” you shrugged, pressing a kiss to his lips.

He met your smile with a small one of his own, sighing loudly. “Should definitely be interesting.”

“Come on. Let’s go.” You crawled off his lap and grasped his hands, pretending to pull him up although he clearly outweighed you by a lot. He grabbed your CD player and you pulled him along by his other hand toward your room.

—————————

Bucky collapsed on your bed, lying on his back and covering his eyes with his metal arm.

“Is all of that Florence woman’s music just as intense?”

You thought for a moment, “Um. Yes. Cathartic as it may be, we could probably take a little break from Flo.”

Crawling onto the bed next to him, you curled into his side as he wrapped his arms around you.

“So,” you began, “this love stuff is pretty new and exciting.”

You felt a rumble in his chest as a chuckle erupted from his lips. “Yeah, I’m liking it,” he grinned.

His face fell, though, still showing the weight of his admissions.

“Hey,” you said, turning his face toward yours with a finger on his chin, “I know that was hard for you to share, but I’m so glad you did. I am here for you, Bucky Barnes. Like I said, I’m not going anywhere.”

He finally offered that wide, toothy smile you loved before he pressed his lips to yours.

“I love you. Man, it just feels so good to say that.”

“And it feels good to hear it,” you grinned.

“So with Florence on hold, what else have you got for me?”

“Hmm. Well, I’ll be little more cautious this time. Or at least give you a warning.”

You rolled out of his grasp to the edge of the bed and nearly fell before plopping yourself on the floor next to your disorganized pile of CDs. Bucky propped himself up on his elbows, watching you. Picking up a few cases and then tossing them aside, you finally found the album you had in mind. Standing, you walked over to your stereo and inserted the disc before searching for the perfect song and pressing play.

You turned around to face him as the voice of Sarah McLachlan breezed through the speakers.

**_Every time I look at you, the world just melts away_  
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections  
You’ve seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am  
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land**

You lifted your hoodie over your head and then stripped off your leggings before crawling back on the bed. Kneeling, you bent down to meet his lips and wrapped your arms around his middle and pulled, bringing his body back up with you to sit. Tugging at the hem of his long-sleeved shirt, you slowly pulled it over his head.

**_You stay the course, you hold the line_  
you keep it all together  
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe in  
You’re all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me  
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe in**

He brushed a strand of hair off your face before he tenderly pressed his lips to yours. You ran your hands over his muscular chest and then up to his broad shoulders. Pulling away an inch, you glanced down at the seem where flesh met metal, running one finger along the still angry-looking scar.

“Does it hurt?” you whispered in a breath.

“It aches sometimes, but not usually.”

You briefly pressed your lips to the scar before returning to kiss his smiling face.

**_Your love is just the antidote when nothing else can cure me_  
There are times I can’t decide, when I can’t tell up from down  
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I’d drown  
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I’m okay  
Sometimes that’s just what we need to get us through the day**

You spent the rest of the afternoon getting reacquainted, each of you taking your time to explore every inch of skin, yours and his. He lightly brushed his fingers over your bruised side and pressed a kiss to your bandaged forehead. There was a new intimacy between the two of you, those expressions of love opening up the previously hidden parts. Those parts felt raw and fragile, but you knew they were safe with him.

———————————  
Later in the evening, you were lying on your side in a tangle of sheets as Bucky explored the art on your walls wearing only a pair of navy blue boxer briefs. Dang, he looked good.

“I was looking at some of these while you were gone,” he said, pointing to a cork board full of random pictures of family, friends from home, and your adventures here in New York. “Is that Prospect Heights?”

“Yeah. Steve took a few of us out to Brooklyn to show us around. Although truthfully, he got us lost so GPS actually showed us around. It’s a beautiful area. Have you been back?”

“No. Not since before the war.”

“Really? We should go sometime.”

He gave a thoughtful smile, “Maybe. Was this taken on the Subway?”

You leaned forward to see where he was pointing, “Oh, yeah. Possibly my favorite graffiti ever.”

“Ille…illegi…timi….” he struggled to pronounce it.

“ _Illegitimi non carborundum_ ,” you finished it. “It’s latin, loosely translated to ‘Don’t let the bastards grind you down.’ I took a semester of Latin in college for the short time I thought I might actually become a doctor. It’s kinda useful in anatomy, biology, and also in music studies and stuff. But nobody actually speaks it. I learned enough to recognize that phrase, though. That canvas is in Latin, too,” you said, pointing to the far wall.

Bucky walked across the room to the 2-foot square blank white canvas with only 2 words written in cursive in the bottom left corner.

“ _Tabula…rasa_ ,” he read a lot more easily. “What does it mean?”

“A clean slate. It’s also symbolic of a rebirth or new beginnings, which has been meaningful at various points in my life. Moving away from that small town for college, moving to New York City, becoming an Avenger…meeting you….” you said with a shy smile.

He broke out in a wide smile, walking back towards the bed to lie down next to you.

“Clean slate, huh? I like the sound of that,” Bucky declared as he settle on his side with his arm around your waist.

“Me, too. And remember, those bastards tried to grind you down, but they won’t win. You are a strong, independent man who don’t need no Hydra thugs. To new beginnings!” you shouted triumphant.

He laughed, pulling you in for a kiss. “To new beginnings,” he echoed, “and a tabula rasa.”

“Frack yes,” you agreed, right before you heard your phone chime. “Oh, crap. It’s Nat wondering if we’ll be showing up at dinner.”

From the look on his face, Bucky wasn’t ready for that. Neither were you, since your day together was not yet over.

You shot off a quick text: _Sorry to ask, but this is the one and only time I’ll need you to cover for us. Could you tell everyone the doc said I should be resting? I’ll grab some food later. Thank you!!!_

A reply seconds later: _Fine. You owe me big, Y/N._

You sighed in relief. At the same time, Bucky had slowly pecked a message with one finger to Steve on his own phone. You read over his shoulder: _Not up for dinner. Need some time._

He hit send and set the phone on the bedside table.

“So how do you wanna do this? Tell everyone that…what, we’re…dating? Although we’ve never actually been on a date…are you my boyfriend? That term just seems sort of cutesy and weird. We could tell them…how about we’re getting to know each other biblically on a regular basis?” you grinned, wiggling your eyebrows.

Bucky threw his head back in laughter, then sighed and answered, “Well, I don’t know about the terms and everything, but…I know that you’re the woman I love. And I intend to spend at much time with you as humanly possible.”

“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes,” you replied. “And I could probably stand to have you around more,” you said sarcastically.

He grinned at you with shining eyes, trying to blink away the tears that has surprised him. You wiped away one that had escaped down his cheek with your thumb.  

He cleared his throat, “Wow. I don’t think I had actually cried in decades and here I am, third time today.”

You pressed your forehead to his and met his gaze, “Tears are good for the soul. They wash away the grime of everyday life. And you, sir, have lived quite the life. You’re entitled to more tears.”

He chuckled thickly, “I just never dreamed I would have this after…. everything. Never thought I would find someone or that for a second I might deserve to be happy. And you make me so happy, Y/N. Still boggles my mind that you’re here.”

“Feeling’s mutual, Sergeant. You do deserve to be happy and so do I. So here we are. You’re stuck with me now. And soon everyone will know it.”

Bucky pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled you into a loving embrace, fully intending to enjoy this last evening of sneaking around and evasive maneuvers.  

—————————  
Morning came and with it brought the moment of truth.

“Are you ready for this?” you asked.

Bucky looked down at you, squeezed your hand intertwined with his, and gave a confident smile.

“I’m ready.”

Taking a deep breath, you turned the door knob and walked into the hallway with Bucky beside you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So cute, right?? That's one of my favorite songs. And a sidetone, I now have the words "tabula rasa" tattooed below my collarbone. It's always been a meaningful phrase for me. 
> 
> Also on different platforms it has been (sometimes rudely) pointed out to me that Bucky knows several languages, including Latin, but that's mostly comic Bucky and I'm not gonna change how I wrote this chapter. What's done is done. I hope you enjoyed this part! We get to see the reactions to the Avengers next chapter! It's pretty entertaining, if I do say so myself. ;) 
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading!!


	8. Somethin' to Talk About

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: reader x Bucky, Steve, Natasha, other Avengers mentioned.
> 
> Summary: Reader and Bucky finally tell the team about their relationship in the least subtle way possible because that’s how she rolls. : ) Steve surprises the couple with news and things get a little angst-y. 
> 
> Warnings: Fluff, a little angst. 
> 
> Song: Let’s Give ‘Em Somethin’ to Talk About by Bonnie Raitt

Morning came and with it brought the moment of truth.

“Are you ready for this?” you asked.

Bucky looked down at you, squeezed your hand intertwined with his, and gave a confident smile.

“I’m ready.”

Taking a deep breath, you turned the door knob and walked into the hallway with Bucky beside you.

You walked at a leisurely pace toward the kitchen where you assumed most of the team would be for breakfast. After considering how best to “break the news”, deciding from calling a weirdly formal meeting or telling people individually or, your personal favorite, walking into the room and yelling “HEY GUESS WHAT WE’RE DOING IT.” But in the end, you and Bucky decided on none of them. Or any plan of any sort.

As morning broke, you had slipped out of Bucky’s arms and into one of his long-sleeved shirts and a pair of boxers. He wore sweats and a tank top, more comfortable showing his metal arm around others these days. Your hair was an absolute mess, as was his. Frankly speaking, you both had sex hair. Which was actually part of the point.

Rounding the corner and stepping into the common area, all eyes were frozen on you and Bucky, an immediate silence falling over the whole room. Except for Natasha, who was engrossed in a file before her on the coffee table and speaking technical jargon about a future mission. Clint swatted at her arm for her attention as his focus remained on the pair of you.

“Ow! What are you—“ she stopped when she followed Clint’s gaze and all she could do was smirk and shake her head. Of course you would be so obvious.

From your state of dress, unkempt hair and fingers linked with Bucky’s, not to mention that you were both clearly coming straight from the direction of YOUR room (his being on the other side of the tower), the general conclusion was obvious.

“Good morning,” you muttered, stifling a yawn as you neared the kitchen. Bucky gave a small smile to the group, but still remained apprehensive.

Everyone started to thaw from their frozen state slowly, assessing the damage of their shock. Sam had overflowed his orange juice glass significantly, now reaching for a towel. Steve’s toast finally popped up, thoroughly blackened now. Clint had a glob of jam that had dropped in his lap from his own toast that had been half way to his mouth. Natasha calmly took a sip of her coffee and raised an eyebrow at you. Finally catching Steve’s eye, you gave a slightly embarrassed smile and shrugged. He looked at Bucky’s grinning face and then back at you, and gave a nod with a half smile. He approved, it seemed. Steve was the very last person who would begrudge his best friend for finding happiness.

Smiling in return, you dropped Bucky’s hand and unlocked your phone as you approached the stereo in the kitchen. Finding the song you had in mind (okay, so maybe you had planned a little), you connected your phone and pressed play.

The moment was just too perfect, you couldn’t resist. You grinned at Bucky, starting to bob your head to the music and sway your hips. You sang along as the incredibly fitting lyrics began.

**_People are talking, talking about people_  
I hear them whisper, you won’t believe it  
They think we’re lovers, kept undercover  
I’ll just ignore it, but they keep saying we  
Laugh just a little too long  
Stand just a little too close  
We stare just a little too long  
Maybe they’re seeing something we don’t, darlin’**

Grabbing Bucky’s hands and pulling him closer, you brought him into your kitchen dance party. He smiled and shook his head in disbelief, but attempted to loosen up and tried to move with you.

**_Let’s give ‘em something to talk about_  
A little mystery to figure out  
Let’s give ‘em something to talk about  
How about love, love, love? **

Bucky gave in and pulled you close, ignoring the faces around him and focusing only on you. He clasped your hand in his with the other arm around your waist, swaying to the music. You continued to sing along as your teammates could only smile and shake their heads at your lack of subtlety.

**_I feel so foolish, I never noticed_  
You act so nervous, could you be fallin’ for me?  
It took a rumor to make me wonder,   
Now I’m convinced I’m going under  
Thinking ‘bout you every day  
Dreaming ‘bout you every night  
I’m hoping that you feel the same way  
Now that we know it, Let’s really show it darilin’.**

**_Let’s give ‘em something to talk about…._ **

Letting the chorus play on, Bucky spun your body away from him then attempted to smoothly twirl you back in, but your toe caught on the kitchen rug resulting in you stumbling straight into his hard chest. His quick reflexes caught you, letting out a chuckle from his lips as you righted yourself and stood.

“You alright, doll?” he asked, a little concerned.

“Well, it wouldn’t be a real moment of truth if I didn’t somehow embarrass myself further. Thank you for catching me,” you said, smiling.

“Always,” he assured you, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on your lips.

You could hear whispers behind you, Sam leaning toward Steve to say, “Did you know about this?”

The blond soldier replied, “I had my suspicions. It sure does explain a lot.”

Pulling away slightly but still in Bucky’s arms, you yelled, “Okay, who wants pancakes?”

The room filled with agreement, everyone knowing that your pancakes were the best. Pulling out the griddle to get it heating, you grabbed ingredients for your favorite breakfast. Bucky helped by taking a turn at stirring the batter while you raided the fridge and cupboards for fixin’s. What made your pancakes so awesome is that they were personalized. After scooping the batter onto the griddle, each pancake would get either fresh blueberries, raspberries, Nutella, chocolate chips, bananas, nuts, or any other combination. The team gathered around, calling out their preferences.

You spent an hour cooking pancakes and swatting away hands who tried to grab someone else’s personalized pancakes. Finally everyone else was stuffed and you used the last of the batter to make your favorite. Sitting down at the counter next to Bucky, you grabbed a fork and dove in.

Bucky reached out and rubbed your back. “These are amazing, babe,” he said, gesturing to the last few bites of his blueberry chocolate chip pancakes.

“I’m glad you enjoyed them, handsome,” you grinned, placing your hand on his thigh.

Steve walked around to the edge of the counter on Bucky’s left, ruffling his buddy’s morning hair as he walked by.

“Get off, punk,” Bucky said, swatting at the hand.

Cap grinned at his friend, then catching your eye. “So. How long has this been going on?”

Natasha had followed Steve and now had her hands resting on the counter, awaiting your answer.

You glanced at Bucky, raising your eyebrows in a question. He shrugged and smiled. You got to be the one to tell them.

“Hey, Steve, remember that morning last month after a mission where you came looking for Bucky and I answered my door in a bath robe?”

Steve’s eyebrows rose sky high, a tinge of red on his cheeks.

He recovered slightly, remembrance gracing his features, then shock. “Wait, so did you actually have Bucky hidden in your closet?!?”

You laughed, throwing your head back. “Of course not! He was in the bathroom.”

Bucky let out a barking laugh at the look on his best friend’s face, who was feeling scandalized.

Natasha smirked, unruffled by the conversation. “Was this around the time I gave you Earring Boy’s number?”

“Yup. Same day, actually,” you replied, taking a bite of your pancake.

Bucky leaned over and whispered in your ear, “Arrrrrrrrrr.”

“Don’t you dare!!” you whispered and elbowed him in the side, alluding to his running joke that you had a ‘thing for pirates’.

Steve and Nat watched your unexplained interaction as Bucky bust out laughing again.

Bucky sighed and then narrowed his eyes at his best friend before punching him in the arm with his metal fist.

“Ow!” he cried, rubbing his bicep.

“That was for trying to steal my girl,” Bucky warned.

“Hey, I didn’t know she was your girl at the time! Well, not for sure.”

You chimed in, “But you did have ’some suspicion’, eh, Cap? Is that why you asked me out?”

He looked away embarrassed, rubbing his neck, “I mean…yeah, I had noticed the way Buck looked at you. I’d seen that look on his face often back then whenever he had his sights on a pretty dame. It had been a while, though, and I wasn’t sure he was ready for that, so…I kind of asked you to dinner to see how you would react. I would have gone if you had said yes, though! You did look amazing in that red dress, Y/N. Dancing with you under that glittering chandelier…”

Steve could see Bucky’s metal arm rearing back again, clenched in a fist. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry,” he said, throwing his hands up defensively. “Trust me, she’s only got eyes for you, pal.”

“Frack yes,” you agreed. Bucky reached for you hand and lifted it to press against his lips.  

“Ugh, you two are disgustingly cute,” Natasha stated with a crinkled nose. “Y/N, I’m gonna need more, uh…. _details_ …when we’re not in mixed company,” she demanded, raising her eyebrows.

“Absolutely,” you promised, sending her a wink.

Bucky glanced at you warily, “What details are you going to share?”

“Only the good things, hot stuff,” you grinned, popping a bite of pancake in your mouth.

“Uh huh….”

Steve cleared his throat then, “So, uh….this may not be the best timing, but there’s a mission coming up and…”

“What?” Bucky objected. “You can’t be serious. You can’t expect Y/N to go out again so soon. She needs to heal, I mean, have you seen the massive bruise on her ribs?”

“Well, I probably haven’t seen them as clearly as you have…”

Did Cap just make an mildly inappropriate joke? You snorted, swallowing your pancake and taking a drink of milk to clear your throat.

“But actually, I wasn’t talking about Y/N. I was talking about you, pal,” he said, playing a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“WHAT?!?” you and Bucky had both exclaimed at the same time. You choked on your milk slightly.

“I thought you said he wasn’t ready,” you declared in shock after recovering. “What changed your mind?”

“You, actually. Partly. Seeing the progress Buck has made socially along with our training sessions made me think that I was starting to hold him back, not letting him at least try going out on a mission. And that’s what this would be: a trial. You would be strictly surveillance, no engagement or infiltrating. Plus I convinced Tony to come along as a precaution. You know, just in case…”

Bucky nodded soberly, knowing full well what ‘just in case’ meant. In case he lost control.

“Anyway, think about it. Let me know how you feel. Congrats to you guys. Oh, and thanks for breakfast, Y/N,” Steve said as he left the kitchen and walked down the hall.

Silence hung heavily in the air as you put your fork down, no longer hungry.

You swiveled on the bar stool toward Bucky, gathering his hands in yours.

“Do you want to go? Do you feel ready?”

Bucky met your eyes with a serious expression, “I’d like to give it a try. Steve’s right, I can only progress so much being cooped up here in the tower. Although I’d love to stay cooped up alone with you,” he added with a grin.

You gave a smile, for once unsure what to say. You wanted to be supportive but a little ball of worry had settled in your stomach. So instead, you hopped off the stool and grabbed both plates, heading to the kitchen to clean up. Bucky rose and followed behind you to help tackle the dishes.

——————————————

That evening, you lie on your stomach kicking your feet behind you on the bed as you watched Bucky pack. You had spent the rest of the day trying to just be in the moment, enjoying the fact that you could watch a movie and snuggle on the couch with the man you love. You did make some time for girl talk with Natasha while Bucky was occupied talking mission details with Steve across the room. He would glance over at you two in the corner every so often, so you would smile and wiggle your fingers at him.

Natasha burst out in laughter at something you had said and Bucky broke off mid-sentence to yell, “Hey, what are you saying over there?”

Which only made the two of you giggle more. You weren’t too indelicate when it came to details, but Nat squeezed a few steamy tidbits from you. She seemed very interested in how the metal arm came into play.

“Very…carefully,” you replied, with a grin, going on about how the temperature difference it had was electrifying.

Now back in Bucky’s room after dinner, the reality that he was leaving hit you as he placed clothing and toiletries into a large black duffle and zipped it up with finality. The team was to leave early tomorrow morning. You played with a loose stitch on the bedspread absentmindedly.

“You’re quiet tonight,” Bucky said as he sat down next to you. You rolled over onto your back and placed a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.  

“I know you are very capable and have no doubt that you’re gonna surveil the crap out of that Hydra base like a boss, but it doesn’t mean I’m not gonna worry.”

He smiled and tenderly brushed his thumb over your cheek, “I’ll be careful, love.”

“I know. You better bring that hot bod back to me in one piece, you hear?”

He chuckled, pecking kisses along your jawline, rising up to meet your eyes, “Yes, ma’am. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you echoed, pulling him back down to you, no more talking the rest of the night.

—————————————

Judging from how cold you were waking up the next morning, you knew he had already left, but it didn’t stop your hands from reaching out for him. His body heat had left the bed entirely, leaving you to shiver under the single bed sheet. Cracking open an eye, you could see a paper resting on his pillow. You rolled onto your stomach and read the note that was scrawled in red Sharpie.

 _Morning, Doll._  
I’m not sure I could’ve gotten on the jet if I had  
looked into your eyes as I left. Forgive me for   
not waking you.

_I love you._

_B_

You put the note on the bedside table and grabbed his pillow, hugging it to your chest and inhaling his scent. You saw the drawing you had made on the wall a few weeks previous, but now there was an alteration. Bucky had made a third speech bubble that connected your two stick figures, drawing a heart in the middle with the same red Sharpie. Your chest ached in longing.

As terrible as leaving him was, being the one left behind was infinitely worse.

This is going to suck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooh. Bucky’s going on a mission! Should be interesting. :) Thank you all so much for giving me feedback about this series. Shoot me a message anytime! I swear, I don’t bite. ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: reader x Bucky, Steve, Tony, Sam, Natasha, Clint.
> 
> Summary: Reader has to find ways to occupy herself while Bucky is away on a mission. 
> 
> Warnings: none, really? Slight worrying. Then fluff. :)

Five days. Four nights. 14 hours. That’s how long it had been since Bucky left on his first mission with Steve and Tony. Not that you were counting or anything. All seemed to be going well, from what little communication you had with Bucky. Before he left, you had spent a full hour schooling him on how to use his cell phone. The touch screen still gave him trouble, what with only one flesh hand, but he grew more used to it. You showed him how to take a photo and send it. He still pressed the record button on accident sometimes, but that only resulted in you receiving videos a few seconds long ending in a string of curse words from him once he realized it. Never failed to make you smile.

He sent a few slightly unfocused photos the first day, more like “road trip” pics: Bucky’s selfie with Steve sleeping with his mouth open in the background, Tony photobombing a pic of Bucky taken by Steve, and then several in succession of Tony playing keep-away with Bucky’s phone while he documented it. Communication diminished to the occasional text once the actual mission began.

_Miss u._

_Tony snores._

_*heart emoji*_

_Wish I could kiss u goodnight._

It all made you smile and eased your worry slightly, but the worst was finding ways to occupy yourself in the meantime.

The first few days were rough, mostly because your ribs were still injured, leaving you unable to train with the rest of the team. “Resting up” and “healing” was all you were supposed to do, which drove you absolutely crazy. You spent those days trying to convince Nat to watch countless chick flicks with you and whining at Sam to play card games, which he hated since you beat him every time. You even went into a baking frenzy one day making dozens of cookies which you then forced everyone to eat.

“Man, I never thought I would say this, but I can’t wait for your boyfriend to get back so he can deal with your craziness, not me,” declared Sam as you whipped him once again at Phase 10.

“Shut up and eat your cookies, Wilson. Those ones are Dark Chocolate Pistachio Sea Salt, my personal favorite.”

Sam groaned, patting his stomach, “I’m all cookie’d out, Y/N, If I eat any more, my wings won’t lift me. Speaking of which, I’m gonna head down to the gym to work all your baked goods off.”

“I’ll join you,” piped in Natasha.

“Aw, come on, guys!! Doc won’t let me in the gym for at least two days!!”

“Sorry, Y/N. Maybe Clint is masochistic enough to play you in cards!”

The sandy-haired archer had just come around the corner, focused on something on his phone. His eyes grew wide when he saw you walking his direction, wide smile on your face.

“Heeeyyyy Clint, you wanna play a game?”

“Uh…I don’t, um…” he backed away, acting as if you might pounce on him and force him to play. “WHAT WAS THAT, NAT? I’M COMING!” he yelled, running after the pair of retreating Avengers.

“Pff. Coward,” you said to yourself, plopping down on the couch and grabbing the remote. Netflix to the rescue!

————

Nights were even harder, since sleep seemed to evade you completely at first. You started taking long walks through the tower in the dark and silence, listening to the huffs and pings the building emitted that were normally covered by the sound of activity during the day. On the 5th night, your feet led you up to the 19th floor, which was normally used for Tony’s elaborate parties but now sat empty and cavernous. There was a fully-stocked wet bar along the far wall, a large dance floor in the center with a stage attached for a live band at times, and throughout the room there were groups of couches and chairs, all expensive and plush.

You sat down on a couch and tucked your feet under you, blanket draped over your shoulders with a mug of chamomile tea in your hands. Facing the floor-to-ceiling windows, you could see the lights of the entire city that never slept. A storm was just beginning with a few crackles of lightning visible in the distance. Thunderstorms were one of your favorite things. Taking a sip of the steaming liquid, you heard a ping from your phone, quickly fishing it out of your sweatshirt’s front pocket. It was from Bucky, a single mp3 file. That certainly wasn’t part of your smart phone tutorial so either Steve had shown him how to send an mp3 (unlikely) or he asked Tony for help (more likely, but probably involved a heavy amount of mocking included).

Setting down your tea, you downloaded the file and hit play, instantly recognizing the song within the first few electric guitar riffs. Tony’s classic rock musical education for Bucky had apparently moved past AC/DC and on to The Scorpions. You shook your head with a smile, heart swelling with the opening lyrics.

**_Girl, it’s been a long time that we’ve been apart_  
Much too long for a man who needs love  
I’ve missed you since I’ve been away  
Babe, it wasn’t easy to leave you alone  
It’s getting harder each time that I go  
If I had the choice I would stay**

Throwing off the blanket, you stood and began to sway to the rock ballad, imagining Bucky holding you in his arms. Brushing away a stray tear, you raised your arms and began to spin, rocking out to the chorus with a smile.

**_There’s no one like you_  
I can’t wait for the nights with you  
I imagine the things we’ll do   
I just want to be loved by you**

“JARVIS, seal off the room, please,” you asked, wirelessly connecting your phone to the speakers hanging throughout the entire space and turning the volume to full-blast.

__**Girl, there are really no words strong enough  
To describe all my longing for love  
I don’t want my feelings restrained  
Ooh, babe, I just need you like never before  
Just imagine you’d come through this door  
You’d take all my sorrows away**

__**There’s no one like you  
I can’t wait for the nights with you  
I imagine the things we’ll do  
I just want to be loved by you…**

Putting the song on repeat, you had your own personal middle-of-the-night dance party. You jumped and twirled and swayed in the dark just long enough to exhaust yourself, eventually passing out on the couch until morning.

—————

As day broke on the eighth day, you raised your head off the couch in Tony’s party room and blinked at the sun’s rays peaking through the window. Checking the time on your phone, you wondered what had woken you at 6:23am when you heard the music playing. Not yours, JARVIS always turned off your impromptu dance party music when your breathing evened out, meaning you were asleep. The music getting louder, you now recognizing the song as AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill”, probably broadcasting from the Quinjet. Classic Stark and his showboating.

Normally, you would hate Tony for waking up the entire tower just because he can, but since his showboating always meant that the jet was returning with all team members alive and well, you could have kissed the goateed billionaire. Too bad you already had lips in mind for kissing. Leaping off the couch, you ran for the elevator, stockinged feet slipping on the marble flooring.

Exiting the elevator at lightning speed, you skidded around the corner toward the jet hanger. You came through the door, sliding in your socks [Risky Business-style](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fs.yimg.com%2Ffz%2Fapi%2Fres%2F1.2%2F5L4GSj03qPpoGwK3PEKfJw--%2FYXBwaWQ9c3JjaGRkO2g9Mjc4O3E9OTU7dz01MDA-%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifwave.com%2Fdownload%2F4nL%2Frisky-business-movie-dancing-tom-cruise-underwear.gif&t=Y2FmMjRmOGY3YTI4N2UxOGNjZTBhZTBmMGVjNjk2NGYwMjVmMjIyMCx1UEJvQzVvVw%3D%3D&b=t%3AAPTZsA8IqrK1ibe3l-X-1Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Favengerofyourheart.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F150670692541%2Fno-one-like-you-reader-x-bucky-accidents-happen&m=1), and then slowed your steps as the jet’s rear loading ramp lowered.

Tony strutted past with a wink, “Thought you wouldn’t mind an early morning wake up call for once. Tin Man did pretty well.”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, but gave a smile, “Thanks, Tony.”

Steve walked down the ramp next, speaking a few words to the man behind him then heading your direction.

“Morning, Y/N. Nice bedhead.”

You scoffed, “More like couch head. Thanks for having his back.”

“Always,” he said in a more serious tone, reaching out to give your shoulder a squeeze as he passed.

Bucky had finally gathered his gear and barely cleared the ramp when he saw you. Doing a quick inventory, you made sure he was walking by his own power with full use of all of his appendages. He wore the biggest smile splitting his handsome face, the best thing you’d seen all week. Positive he was here and in one piece, you broke into a sprint and leapt into his arms, causing him to drop all the gear he was carrying. Your lips found his within seconds, inhaling his musky and slightly sweaty scent. Legs wrapped around his waist, his left arm gripped your thigh with the other around your hips.

“Hi,” you breathed against his lips.

He chuckled, still not breaking contact, “Hi, doll. I missed you.”

Pulling back to meet his eyes, noses touching, you smiled with a raised eyebrow “Oh really? I had no idea. _I can’t wait for the nights with you/ I imagine the things we’ll do / I just wanna be loved by you_ …”

You finished singing, his cheeks showing a touch of pink as a smile reached all the way to his eyes where they wrinkled in the corners.

“You got my message?”

“Sure did, you sap. I love you.”

“That’s weird,” he paused, brushing his thumb across your cheekbone, “cause I love you, too.”

You let out a sigh, finally breathing easy for the first time in over a week. Releasing your legs, you slid down until your feet hit the floor with your arms still around his neck. One last kiss before you helped him gather his gear again, clasping his free hand in yours as you both walked to the elevator.

“There really is no one like you, Y/N. It’s good to be home.”

Now that Bucky was back, the tower felt like home again to you, too.

[No One Like You by the Scorpions](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZfNR98ajB1U&t=NmQzMjQ0NjhmNmM5NGE1YTYxMDhkYzg4NDVjOTBlZDFkMzFkZmJmNix1UEJvQzVvVw%3D%3D&b=t%3AAPTZsA8IqrK1ibe3l-X-1Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Favengerofyourheart.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F150670692541%2Fno-one-like-you-reader-x-bucky-accidents-happen&m=1)

                       [Shoot to Thrill by AC/DC](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4gDch1p4c_M&t=NmJiZmEzNWZmN2EzMDBmYmE4NmFjMGRkMDEzZGUzOGE5ZGYyMDkzYyx1UEJvQzVvVw%3D%3D&b=t%3AAPTZsA8IqrK1ibe3l-X-1Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Favengerofyourheart.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F150670692541%2Fno-one-like-you-reader-x-bucky-accidents-happen&m=1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah!! The fluff!! I hope this was worth the wait!! Let me know what you thought of it. I think there might be only one part left, possibly with a time jump. But plans change! We shall see. Thank you all for the love for this series!


	10. Happy Accidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: reader x Bucky, Sam, Steve, Nat, Tony, Bruce (mentioned)
> 
> Summary: Reader stays home from a mission and Bucky returns with unexpected news that could change your life together forever. 
> 
> Warnings: lil angst, mostly fluff. Mentions of illness and possible pregnancy. 
> 
> Word Count: 4k.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it!! The last part. It’s been a long time coming and I’m sorry about the wait, but I hope it’s worth it! This series was my baby. Part 1 was my first fic written and posted EVER. Thank you all for sticking around and supporting me and this series! Please let me know what you think! :)

_Previously:_

_“There really is no one like you, Y/N. It’s good to be home.”_

_Now that Bucky was back, the tower felt like home again to you, too._

________________

_One Year Later_

“I’m going.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Bucky. I feel fine!! I’ve been fine all morning. I am going on this mission.”

Bucky opened his mouth to protest, but your determined expression stopped him, throwing his hands up in surrender.

You smiled victoriously, gathering the last of your gear and tugging the zipper closed on your duffel. The both of you already wore your combat gear, ready to board the Quinjet that was leaving in 10 minutes. Steve had interrupted breakfast saying there was a last minute mission so you and Bucky, along with Bruce, Clint, and Steve were heading out as soon as possible. Steve protested your joining the mission, too, which annoyed you. What was up with that?

One last scan around the room to make sure you had gathered everything, you met Bucky’s eyes.

“You ready, babe?” you asked him.

“Yup. How ‘bout you, doll?”

You paused, holding up one finger before you bolted for the bathroom and lost your breakfast. Aw, crap.

Rinsing your mouth and seeing your own pale reflection, you knew Bucky was right.

Returning to the bedroom, Bucky was already on the phone.

“Yeah, Y/N still isn’t feeling well. Can Natasha cover for her?” he asked, waiting for Steve’s response. “Right. Okay.”

You sat down on the bed, feeling deflated.

Bucky caught your eye as he spoke to Steve, “Yeah, I know. We’ll talk when I get back. I’m on my way.”

The long-haired brunet hung up and came over to sit next to you, pulling you close with a kiss to your temple.

“This whole stomach flu thing sucks. I really thought I was over it!” you whined.

“I know, doll. You rest up and focus on feeling better. We should be gone 3 days, tops. I’ll be back before you know it.”

You sighed as Bucky stood and grabbed his own gear, planting a kiss on your cheek before heading out. He stopped in the doorway, looking back at you.

“I love you.”

Those words uttered from his lips still gave you butterflies as you smiled, “I love you, too.”

He waved a hand and he was gone, leaving you to strip off your combat suit and get back into pajamas.

After changing, you puttered around in stocking feet, gathering a blanket, water, and crackers before settling on the couch with the remote. Thankfully you were able to hole up in the apartment you shared with Bucky, hoping to avoid getting anyone else sick. Netflix had become your savior these past few days in between intervals of throwing up. Gross.

Ever since that first mission for Bucky, the both of you had gone out dozens of times, some together, others left one of you home waiting and worrying. The focus on training and feeling useful was good for Bucky. He hardly ever had nightmares anymore and when he did, once he knew he was safe at home with you by his side, the terror subsided.

Not that life was without its challenges. You and Bucky were still very different people so disagreements were bound to happen. There was the Empty Toilet Paper Roll Fiasco, the Incorrect Toothpaste Squeeze Disagreement, and of course the If-You-Don’t-Stop-Leaving-Damp-Towels-on-the-Bed-I’m-Gonna-Smother-You-In-Your-Sleep Conflict. Most were resolved quickly and without bloodshed.

Honestly, the both of you were pretty easy going so cohabitating was an easy transition, more or less. The constant reminder of “be careful” before missions and trying not to interfere in each others’ jobs in the field, that was harder to manage. It all worked itself out, though, as you made it clear that talking about it was always better. Not that you could keep things to yourself anyway.

While Bucky was on this particular mission, you did what you usually could to occupy your time, but it was just harder by yourself. In the afternoon of the second day, you ventured out into the common area to find Sam surfing through the cable channels. Screw the passing of germs, it was probably too late anyway.

“Hey, Birdbrain.”

“Hey, crazy girl. How you feeling?” said the man with a smile.

“Eh, a little better. But you know what would reeeeaaallly make me feel better?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him.

He rolled his eyes, “Fine, Y/N. I’ll play your little game.”

“Yay!” you cheered, grabbing the card games and settling on the floor opposite Sam with the coffee table between you. “

________

Midway through the third day of the mission, you received a text from Bucky that they would return home that night. Ecstatic, you straightened up the apartment and went to the store to gather ingredients for Bucky’s favorite meal. Your stomach still couldn’t handle much food, but it was better today. Unsure of the time of his arrival, you prepared the meal and then set aside a plate that Bucky could reheat when he returned. You nibbled on a few things, but nothing really sounded good. Around seven o’clock, you settled on the couch to watch a movie and wait up for your handsome man.

Next thing you knew, you were waking up to daylight in your own bed with a warm hand rubbing your thigh throughout the blankets.

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

Turning toward the voice, you saw Bucky sitting on the edge of the bed with a smile on his face. You rolled over toward him, rubbing your eyes.

“What time is it?” you asked groggily.

“About 9:15 in the morning.”

“Wha…Nine?!? I sat down on the couch a little after 7 and must have drifted off. I slept…” you did the math in your fuzzy head, “Fourteen hours? I didn’t know I was so tired! I was gonna wait up for you!” you whined, annoyed at your lack of consciousness upon his arrival.

He chuckled, “It’s fine, doll. You need your rest. And I’m here, as promised. All is well.”

“Ugh. I feel like I’ve been so lazy lately. No energy to do anything. I wish I could kick this bug…”

Bucky gave you a close-lipped smile, a softness in his eyes, “Sit up for me, doll. Let’s talk.”

Eyeing him warily, you untangled yourself from the sheets and crawled to his side.

“Okay?” you questioned. “What’s up?”

Bucky cleared his throat, gathering your hands in his, “Do you remember that mission we went on a while back? We took down that arms dealer in Prague where you had to flirt with the old guy again and that red dress made another appearance? Even better in person, by the way.”

You giggled, “Yeah, I remember.”

“Well…you know how we got into an argument about how you went against Steve’s orders and took on the guards alone? I was so mad…” he trailed off, laughing at it now.

You bit your lip, remembering the fire in Bucky’s eyes as he yelled with concern for you to be more careful.

“Uh huh.”

“And how we stayed one night longer in the hotel room per Steve’s orders to cool off before heading home? He wanted us to kiss and make up. And make up we did,” Bucky grinned, remembering the fury and passion of that night, a flush rising to your face as well.

“That was a great night,” you swooned, leaning forward to capture your boyfriends lips in a kiss.

Bucky returned the kiss, smiling softly as he pulled away, then hesitating before he spoke again, “I also remember we weren’t particularly…careful…that night…”

He watched your expression, waiting for some recollection.

Brow furrowed, you thought for a moment, then agreeing, “Okay? I mean it was rare for us, but not the first time.”

“I know, but…it’s possible that that night is connected to how sick you’ve been the past 2 weeks,” Bucky spoke softly, rubbing his flesh hand up and down your back while his metal left still remained in your lap.

You remained silent, avoiding his gaze.

“Come on, Y/N. It must have crossed your mind…” He waited for your response and when it didn’t come, he tried again. “Y/N…doll, talk to me. I’m not used to pulling words out of you. In fact, you usually blurt out whatever you’re thinking before I can even ask.”

A laugh bubbled up thickly in your throat as you finally turned Bucky’s way with a sniffle, tears in your eyes.

“It did occur to me…” you began, pulling at a loose thread on the sleeve of your sweatshirt.

“And?”

“I pushed it away the second it came to mind. There was NO way that I…I couldn’t be…I just…I never wanted to be THAT girl,” you exclaimed wiping at unexpected tears angrily.

“What girl?” he asked in confusion.

“You know, the girl who gets knocked up by her boyfriend and never goes anywhere or does anything with her life. More than half the girls at my high school had little carbon copies of them running around within two years after graduating. IF they graduated. I never wanted to be like them,” you finished your rant, wrapping your arms around yourself.

Bucky tenderly placed a hand on either side of your face, meeting your gaze while thumbs brushed your cheekbones.

“Y/N…you are the furthest away from being one of those girls as a person can be,” he smiled. “You got out. You left that small town behind, got a college degree, moved to New York…You’re an Avenger! You travel the world with superheroes while you kick ass and take names. And you’re still an Avenger, no matter what. In whatever capacity you want with built in babysitters right here, should we need them.”

You adjusted yourself until you were knee to knee with Bucky, placing a hand on each of his magnificent thighs as he placed his own hands on your hips.

“Now…if you don’t want to do this…we’ll figure it out. And if you don’t want to do this with _me_ , I underst…”

“Whoa! Wait a minute,” you interrupted harshly, stopping Bucky’s self-deprecating thoughts outright. It was your turn to grasp his handsome face to know you were being heard. “If THIS is happening at all, it’s happening with YOU. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. With all my heart. You’re the only person in the world I would ever want to be in this situation with.”

He gave a grateful smile, placing his hands over yours and then pulling them into his lap.

“Besides, you’ve been dealing with my special brand of crazy for over a year and so far you haven’t run for the hills. I doubt I could break in someone new before THIS becomes a reality, so…”

Bucky chuckled, ”Well, then you’re stuck with me, then.”

“No, YOU are stuck with ME. Hot Super Soldier boyfriend who is also kind and caring and handsome? Yeah, I definitely got the better deal.”

“I beg to differ, my darling. You’re funny, gorgeous, amazing, honest, loving, fierce, and did I mention hot?”

You laughed, then turning serious. “Yeah, well. Maybe not for long. Because…I….am….” you struggled to form the last word and then blurted it, “…PREGNANT.”

“That’s my girl! See? Acceptance is the first step…or something,” Bucky said, grinning at you.

You slugged your hunky boyfriend in the arm, “This is your fault, Mr. Super Sperm.”

He threw his head back now in a full belly laugh, then leaning forward to capture your lips with his, muttering “I love you” against them.

“I will take full responsibility for that, my darling. Although, I could’ve sworn you were there, too…” his brow furrowed in mocking.

You shrugged in agreement, then questioning, “Seriously though, that serum is in your DNA, right? What does that mean for…” you pointed to your stomach, which still showed no difference.

Bucky sighed, “I don’t know, doll. It’s not like we have any other examples to go on. I breeched the subject to Steve a while back and he blushed so hard he couldn’t speak full sentences for an hour. But…that only becomes a question of importance if….”

A groan left your lips as you collapsed backwards onto the pillows. Bucky crawled up the bed to lay beside you as he gently pulled you close.

“This wasn’t in the plan!” you whined, dramatically covering your eyes with the crook of your elbow.

You heard a snicker, causing you to peek out at your boyfriend.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! It’s just…what plan? Sorry, doll, but honestly, nothing in our life together has really been planned. You kissed me one night, I kissed you back, we were together, then Nat found out about us and then everyone knew… I mean, we even moved in together on a whim. No planning.”

You thought back to that day six months ago. The two of you had been mildly bickering at breakfast about him needing a drawer for a few of his things at your place and him not having an actually drawer for you at his place. Tony rolled his eyes at you and blurted, “Why don’t you just move in together? There’s an available apartment a few floors down. Save us all the headache.” You met Bucky’s eyes, considering it, and you both shrugged and moved in the next day.

Truthfully, neither of you were planners. You were notoriously spontaneous about everything and Bucky had enough trouble keeping his mind out of the past and into the present to actually consider the future very often.

So, he had a point. Which made you even more nervous about this new endeavor.

“See? We’re not equipped to handle this! I’m kinda freaked out about the whole situation. Aren’t you freaking out?!?” you mildly screeched.

The handsome brunet chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple, “Well, oddly enough, I’ve been sitting on this information for longer than you have, so I’ve already had my freak out, doll. Clint talked me down.”

“What? Clint knows?”

“Actually, Clint sort of recognized the signs and approached me. He’s been through it a few times before. You still claimed it was the flu, so he thought I should know. I nearly pulled my hair out, but it made sense.”

Hesitantly, you voiced your thoughts, “So…do you think we can do this? I mean, is this something you want?”

Bucky sighed, tracing patterns on your clothed stomach with his fingertips, “Honestly, this is another one of those things I never thought I’d have. I didn’t know if I _could_ or if we _should_ , but now that we’re here…yeah. I think I do. I mean, this is you and me. This right here is a result of two people who love each other very much and I’m with you all the way, good or bad….yes….or no.”

You thought about what he said, this potential offspring being half you and half the wonderful, amazing man you couldn’t imagine your life without. Now knowing where he stood, you considered your own feelings. Was this something YOU wanted? Despite never fully voicing or acknowledging them, there were thoughts in the back of your mind about maybe possibly one day settling down and having a family. This was a little soon, but Bucky was right. You weren’t one to plan, so maybe this was just the way it was meant to happen.

Flickering in your mind was the image of seeing Bucky hold his child for the first time with the biggest smile on his face and tears in his eyes, an exhausted but triumphant you next to him. This possible future was having an unexpected affect on you. Instead of the nausea that had plagued you for weeks, you felt something else brewing inside: excitement.

Meeting his eyes, you blinked away a few tears, took in a deep breath, held it, and then spoke in a burst of an exhale, “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“Yes. Let’s do it. Let’s have a baby, Mr. Barnes,” you smiled.

The biggest grin lit up his face, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded.

Bucky kissed you, then letting out a loud whoop causing you to burst out in laughter. He returned his focus to your stomach, muttering as he kissed your currently nonexistent bump while you trailed your fingers through his chestnut locks.

You froze then, panic seizing you once again, “Wait, I didn’t get to finish my freak out! What if this super soldier baby is, like, extra strong and just busts out of my vag one day? Do you know anything about babies? Cause I don’t know anything about babies except that time I babysat my sister’s kids and one of them smeared paint all over the living room and she never let me watch them again which was probably a good thing. What about college? College is expensive!! We don’t even technically have incomes! We just kind of live here and do hero stuff so does Tony just foot the bill? Is that what Clint does? That doesn’t make any sense, I mean…”

Bucky let you rant for a few more minutes, trying to hide his amused smile. When you ran out of steam and took a breath, he kissed you and reached for his phone by the bedside.

“Y/N….I don’t know. A lot of that stuff, I don’t have answers for. But Clint said that all new parents come into this having no clue, so that was a little comforting. And as for the money stuff, we’ll figure it out. College is a little ways away so we have time. Hopefully he or she will be super smart as well as super strong so they can get a scholarship,” he smiled.

Scrolling through his phone, he found what he was looking for and clicked.

“Whatever comes, we will figure it out. Together. Clint also shared this song with me because it calmed him a little when Laura was first pregnant.”

Strumming of acoustic guitar began to play from his phone, “Do you recognize it?”

You frowned and shook your head, feigning ignorance.

“Finally!” he chuckled. “I’m ahead of you in the music game.”

You laughed at his joy over a so-called ‘win’, settling in to listen as he placed the phone gently on your stomach and pulled you close, nuzzling your neck.

_People smile and tell me I’m the lucky one  
And we’ve just begun,  
I think I’m gonna have a son…_

“Or daughter,” Bucky interjected as he nuzzled your cheek.

_He will be like she and me  
as free as a dove  
conceived in love  
Sun is gonna shine above_

_Even though we ain’t got money,  
I’m so in love with you honey and   
everything will bring a chain of love  
And in the morning when I rise,   
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes   
And tell me everything is gonna be alright_

Bucky then rolled off the bed and went searching through his top dresser drawer.

“What’re you doing there, Sarge?” you asked.

“I’ll have you know,” he answered, closing the drawer with something in his hand, “that I’ve had this for weeks, so there’s no shot gun involved. I was just waiting for the right time…”

He walked around to your side of the bed and knelt before you as the music played on.

_And now a smile, a face,  
a girl who shares my name  
now I’m through with the game  
This boy will never be the same. _

“What do you say, doll? Will you marry me?” he popped the question as a square velvet box was opened before you, a modest diamond ring nestled inside.

Tears sprung to your eyes, shock evident in your features. Brushing the phone off your torso, you sat up quickly, hands covering your mouth. You dropped your legs off the side of the bed and slid down to kneeling on the floor with feet tucked under you. Bucky sat down before you, ring still on display.

“It’s beautiful,” you breathed.

Bucky urged you on, eyebrows raised, “And?”

Meeting his eyes, you smiled, “Yes.”

He captured your lips with his, a beaming smile on both your faces. He took the ring out intending to slip it on your finger when you stopped him, placing a hand over his.

“But I have one request. Sell the diamond.”

“What?” he questioned, almost angry.

“I don’t need a diamond. If we’re serious about this future and this baby and money and everything else, I want a simple band. That’s it. And you wear one, too. It’s always bugged me that only the girl wears an engagement ring, I mean, is the guy less committed? Why does he still look available at first glance? I don’t like it. And speaking of equality, the whole sharing your name thing? We should talk about that…”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Bucky chuckled in interruption, shaking his head in disbelief. “You are the most unique girl I’ve ever met, Y/N. And I love you for it.”

“I don’t doubt that,” you grinned, leaning in to kiss your fiancé.

You pulled back, foreheads touching as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

Frowning slightly, you had a thought, “Guess I should actually take a test of some sort, huh? Pee on a stick to make it official?”

He shook his head in laughter, “Nat bought one for when you were ready. I’ll text her.”

“Nat knows? And Clint? Guess we should tell the whole team then…”

Bucky offered a sheepish smile, “Sorry, doll, but…everyone kind of already knows. Nat picked up on your symptoms not long after Clint, I had to tell Steve to keep you off missions and Thor, well…when you burst into tears after he finished the last pop tart you had your heart set on, I had to tell him something. Sam overheard me talking to Steve. Why else do you think he played those card games with you even though he hates it? Tony was the last one left since he had been all wrapped up in a project, but Steve told him this morning.”

You let out a huff with a frown, “That takes the fun out of it.”

“Well…we still have your parents to tell…”

Eyes wide, you let that sink in, “Son of a biscuit, you’re right…”

To Bucky’s surprise, you stood suddenly and headed for the elevator.

“Where are we going?” he asked, falling into step with you.

“I figure I should practice before then and why not start right now?” you said, pressing the button for the common room floor in the elevator. The ride only took a few seconds.

Bucky just followed your lead, used to your unexpected antics by now. Exiting the elevator, you could see most of the team present so you took a deep breath.

“HEY GUESS WHAT BUCKY KNOCKED ME UP AND NOW WE’RE GETTING HITCHED ISN’T THAT GREAT?” you yelled at the top of your lungs with a huge smile on your face.

A few of the Avengers had flinched at your volume initially, but then just shook their heads with smiles and left whatever activity they were working on. Soon the whole team was giving hugs and patting Bucky on the back, all of them offering “congrats” and “finally’s”

“This calls for celebration!” Tony exclaimed with a clap of his hand, then asking JARVIS to order some pickles and ice cream to be delivered ASAP. He thought he was funny. And he was right, not that you let him know. That combination did sound oddly satisfying, though…

Bucky returned to your side, gathering you in his arms and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“You ready for this?” he whispered.

“Not in the slightest,” you answered truthfully. “But it’ll be a great adventure.”

“The greatest,” he agreed with a smile.

“We still need to have a private celebration of our own, you know,” you grinned at him, wiggling your eyebrows.

He chuckled in disbelief, “You sure you’re up for that, doll?”

“Always, Hot Stuff,” you winked, smacking your fiancé’s shapely behind before rejoining the group. He just shook his head and followed.

A lot of your life together had been accidental, but to you they had all been happy accidents because they brought you here. And there was nowhere else in the world you’d rather be.

__________________________________________________________

[Song link: Danny’s Song by Kenny Loggins](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DkOl9s0Jlw8I&t=YjVjNGNlNGQyMWU1YjhiMWI3MWFiOWQwZjE4NmM0YzZkZjc5MzM5MCxqQVA3d3U1dA%3D%3D&b=t%3AAPTZsA8IqrK1ibe3l-X-1Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Favengerofyourheart.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F157661737052%2Fhappy-accidents-reader-x-bucky-ah-pt-10end&m=1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew!! I did it!! My very first ever series is now complete. I had this last part mostly written for months but I had some trouble letting go for some reason. But here we are. It’s time. I really hope you liked this ending and found it fitting. Please let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo??? Look at all that fluff!! :D Oof, I'm glad I did some editing cause my sentence structure needed some serious help. haha! So crazy that this first chapter was the first fan fiction I ever wrote and now I have over a hundred one-shots and chapters. I'd love to hear what you think! I'll post anther part in a few days. I appreciate you all! <3


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